Terry Real

Apt and healing and difficult. I'll tell you this. I am the son of a depressed, angry father. He was the son of a depressed, angry father. I have two boys, 35, 37. Neither of them say that, and neither will their children. And that is the greatest accomplishment of my life.

Apt and healing and difficult. I'll tell you this. I am the son of a depressed, angry father. He was the son of a depressed, angry father. I have two boys, 35, 37. Neither of them say that, and neither will their children. And that is the greatest accomplishment of my life.

Sure, yeah, no, I... I consider myself a relationship expert and an expert on male psychology.

Sure, yeah, no, I... I consider myself a relationship expert and an expert on male psychology.

Am I mansplaining? No.

Am I mansplaining? No.

Well, yes and no. I mean, power... Yes, miserableness also. I think one of the revolutionary things I said, and I really want to give a shout out to some beautiful early feminist psychologists, the folks at the Stone Center, Jean Baker Miller, but most of all, Carol Gilligan, my dear friend. who are man-loving feminists.

Well, yes and no. I mean, power... Yes, miserableness also. I think one of the revolutionary things I said, and I really want to give a shout out to some beautiful early feminist psychologists, the folks at the Stone Center, Jean Baker Miller, but most of all, Carol Gilligan, my dear friend. who are man-loving feminists.

I was really, and to some degree am, one of the few male voices saying, patriarchy is a system that does damage to everybody. Mm-hmm.

I was really, and to some degree am, one of the few male voices saying, patriarchy is a system that does damage to everybody. Mm-hmm.

Yes, men are on top and women are on the bottom, but if that's your idea of what's on the top, you know, not to whatever, but there was a, I won't say who, but there was an expert on TV talking about aspirational masculinity and how all these young men are looking at Elon Musk. Yeah, sure. Richest man in the world to send people to Mars. Fantastic. You want to be married to that guy?

Yes, men are on top and women are on the bottom, but if that's your idea of what's on the top, you know, not to whatever, but there was a, I won't say who, but there was an expert on TV talking about aspirational masculinity and how all these young men are looking at Elon Musk. Yeah, sure. Richest man in the world to send people to Mars. Fantastic. You want to be married to that guy?

Most people don't. And... If that's what you want to aspire to, I don't want to get too close to you.

Most people don't. And... If that's what you want to aspire to, I don't want to get too close to you.

You know, not to be grandiose myself, but I want to take ownership. I am the person to ask this, too, and I'll tell you why. There are no models anymore. There are no models of healthy relational masculinity.

You know, not to be grandiose myself, but I want to take ownership. I am the person to ask this, too, and I'll tell you why. There are no models anymore. There are no models of healthy relational masculinity.

Yeah. And, you know, boys and men are floundering. Everybody knows that. But look, someone described my work as women have had a revolution and now men have to deal with it. The response to the challenge that women are presenting to men is,

Yeah. And, you know, boys and men are floundering. Everybody knows that. But look, someone described my work as women have had a revolution and now men have to deal with it. The response to the challenge that women are presenting to men is,

in their marriages, in the job market, in education, has largely been blowback, a resurgence of the most traditional and, frankly, unappealing aspects of traditional patriarchy, just dominance and bullying. That ain't it. And so... I don't want women to stand down from their demands. I want men to stand up and meet them.

in their marriages, in the job market, in education, has largely been blowback, a resurgence of the most traditional and, frankly, unappealing aspects of traditional patriarchy, just dominance and bullying. That ain't it. And so... I don't want women to stand down from their demands. I want men to stand up and meet them.