Terry Real

But the problem is, you know, I see these guys and they're all whining that women aren't attracted to them.

And there's a reason for that.

A lot of guys who get in touch with emotion and the sort of more heartfelt issues bring along with it traditional male privilege.

So it's like, I'm emotional now, come and take care of me.

And a lot of the women are complaining that these guys are kind of children.

They're not, they don't stand up.

The issue is this.

Can you be big hearted and open and emotional and show up?

and be responsible and be giving.

The thing that hasn't changed for a lot of us guys is giving.

Back in the 50s, and it was stoic, it's about me.

I show up and I am responsible in ways that our younger guys are less responsible than our dads were.

That's all true.

But, you know, I go out and I fight dragons and I come home and where's my martini and slippers?

Then the 60s came on and feminism and, okay, it's okay to have feelings.

It might even be okay to be a little bit vulnerable.

But it's still about me.

And when I talk about progressive masculinity, I want men who are big-hearted, strong, connected, and giving.

And that's missing both in the traditional patriarchal model and in many of the countercultural models.

You know, what's missing in our culture—I'm going to fade back from men for a moment and talk about it generally—