Terry Real
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Look, these other people are getting let in and they're going to eat my lunch.
And I'm nervous about that.
Or addict dads.
That is trauma.
I want to be clear about this because it's endemic to our culture.
Absent dads.
you know, is the norm for many people in this culture.
And absence can do more damage than violent presence can.
And we tend to not think about it that way.
But neglect can be as wounding
You know, back to Bly, he said this one, he's a beautiful poet.
He said, every time a young man walks down the corridor and says hello to an older, more successful man, and that man does not say hello back, that's a wound in the soul of the young man.
I love that.
And absences speak as woundingly as violent presences do.
And many men, not being relational,
are absent and people suffer.
The children suffer and the partners suffer.
And then I talk about the unholy triad of patriarchy.
You've got absent or irresponsible dad.
You've got unhappy but accommodating mom.