Terry Real

Yes, men are on top and women are on the bottom, but if that's your idea of what's on the top, you know, not to whatever, but there was a, I won't say who, but there was an expert on TV talking about aspirational masculinity and how all these young men are looking at Elon Musk. Yeah, sure. Richest man in the world to send people to Mars. Fantastic. You want to be married to that guy?

Yes, men are on top and women are on the bottom, but if that's your idea of what's on the top, you know, not to whatever, but there was a, I won't say who, but there was an expert on TV talking about aspirational masculinity and how all these young men are looking at Elon Musk. Yeah, sure. Richest man in the world to send people to Mars. Fantastic. You want to be married to that guy?

Most people don't. And... If that's what you want to aspire to, I don't want to get too close to you.

Most people don't. And... If that's what you want to aspire to, I don't want to get too close to you.

You know, not to be grandiose myself, but I want to take ownership. I am the person to ask this, too, and I'll tell you why. There are no models anymore. There are no models of healthy relational masculinity.

You know, not to be grandiose myself, but I want to take ownership. I am the person to ask this, too, and I'll tell you why. There are no models anymore. There are no models of healthy relational masculinity.

Yeah. And, you know, boys and men are floundering. Everybody knows that. But look, someone described my work as women have had a revolution and now men have to deal with it. The response to the challenge that women are presenting to men is,

Yeah. And, you know, boys and men are floundering. Everybody knows that. But look, someone described my work as women have had a revolution and now men have to deal with it. The response to the challenge that women are presenting to men is,

in their marriages, in the job market, in education, has largely been blowback, a resurgence of the most traditional and, frankly, unappealing aspects of traditional patriarchy, just dominance and bullying. That ain't it. And so... I don't want women to stand down from their demands. I want men to stand up and meet them.

in their marriages, in the job market, in education, has largely been blowback, a resurgence of the most traditional and, frankly, unappealing aspects of traditional patriarchy, just dominance and bullying. That ain't it. And so... I don't want women to stand down from their demands. I want men to stand up and meet them.

What women are asking for from men is relationality, is learning to be intimate, is opening up your heart and sharing your feelings, being vulnerable, being soft when your partner's vulnerable, being responsible. These are all wonderful things for guys. Stop whining and let me teach you how to do it.

What women are asking for from men is relationality, is learning to be intimate, is opening up your heart and sharing your feelings, being vulnerable, being soft when your partner's vulnerable, being responsible. These are all wonderful things for guys. Stop whining and let me teach you how to do it.

And the conundrum for men is what you learned about what it means to be a strong man as a boy guarantees you'll be seen as a lousy husband as a man. You cannot be invulnerable and intimate at the same time. So when I help men move into openheartedness, connection, the expression of feeling, compassion, responsibility, giving, I am explicitly reconfiguring masculinity with them.

And the conundrum for men is what you learned about what it means to be a strong man as a boy guarantees you'll be seen as a lousy husband as a man. You cannot be invulnerable and intimate at the same time. So when I help men move into openheartedness, connection, the expression of feeling, compassion, responsibility, giving, I am explicitly reconfiguring masculinity with them.

You want my mature therapeutic self or you want my New Jersey self?

You want my mature therapeutic self or you want my New Jersey self?

People with simple ideas will not have a hard time getting an audience. But these are carnival barkers who are leading our young men down the path of suicide. You know the TV show Adolescence, right?

People with simple ideas will not have a hard time getting an audience. But these are carnival barkers who are leading our young men down the path of suicide. You know the TV show Adolescence, right?

And all the press it got. Yeah. You cannot reassert your masculinity through dominance and bullying and violence. That is not the answer. It's just not.

And all the press it got. Yeah. You cannot reassert your masculinity through dominance and bullying and violence. That is not the answer. It's just not.