Thais Gibson

And so what's really interesting is consciously they'll say, oh, I want somebody who gets my freedom and respects it.

But subconsciously, they'll often go and invest in people who are very preoccupied with them.

And so that's why you often pair up with people of different attachment cells.

And that's often why you see secure people be with secure people.

And so when it comes to dating, the most important thing, and I will say this forever, and nobody likes to hear it, but it's the truth, is that the most important thing you're ever going to do is learn to have a secure relationship with yourself first.

And that's going to be through rewiring these insecure patterns.

And I'm sure we can get into all the ways how, but rewiring those insecure patterns because you can say that you want the healthiest relationship.

You can have your checklist.

You can know your needs.

You can try to ask all the right questions on the dates and go to the right places and find the right people, but ultimately, you often will find that you're in relationships with people who might have all those things on the checklist and you're like, I just don't feel attracted to them.

Oh, this person, and I've heard this all the time.

I actually used to do this when I was much younger before doing the work.

I had people where I'd date them or start to get to know them and they were very secure and I would be like,

This is kind of boring.

Like, where's the roller coaster?

Because that's what was most familiar.

And this is a conversation I've had with thousands of people at this point.

We are not going to be attracted to the right people, according to our conscious mind's evaluation of it, until we do that inner work for us to heal, to become secure to self.

And then that's what we'll be attracted to and want to invest in with other people.

Yes.