Thais Gibson

I also tell people all the time, if you're concerned a little bit, you think somebody's amazing, they're very charming, they're very charismatic, and you're concerned a little bit that their love bombing and their charisma changes,

could be a sign of a narcissist instead of just an insecure attachment cell because they are vastly different, then one of the best ways to just vet them is to set a boundary with them because narcissists do not like your boundary, whereas insecure attachment cells, they'll like really honor your boundary.

They'll usually be like, oh, I'm so sorry.

And they'll be accountable and apologize and acknowledge.

And so that's a really good way to separate out the two.

It's a great question.

And from that particular scenario, if somebody is not respecting your boundary early on, that's a big red flag.

You know, if somebody doesn't know how to honor boundaries...

Then I would say in those types of cases, that's a vetting situation.

Like vetting in a relationship when we first start dating should be for the first three, four months of a relationship.

You should be asking the hard questions, having those early conversations, talking about your needs.

I always say to people when you're going into dating,

know your needs and know your non-negotiables and then go in and ask one or two really meaningful questions a date.

You don't want the dating situation to be like a job interview.

Here's my 17 needs.

Are you going to meet them?

You know, it needs to be something where like each date you say, you know, for example, I know for me, you know, I've been in a marriage and with my husband for 11 years.

And, and, um, but if I were dating again, I would, one of my non-negotiables early on would be, you need to be able to hash things out.

Like we got to talk through things because it's so important to prevent any kind of resentment in relationship.

So,