Thais Gibson

You can know your needs.

You can try to ask all the right questions on the dates and go to the right places and find the right people, but ultimately, you often will find that you're in relationships with people who might have all those things on the checklist and you're like, I just don't feel attracted to them.

Oh, this person, and I've heard this all the time.

I actually used to do this when I was much younger before doing the work.

I had people where I'd date them or start to get to know them and they were very secure and I would be like,

This is kind of boring.

Like, where's the roller coaster?

Because that's what was most familiar.

And this is a conversation I've had with thousands of people at this point.

We are not going to be attracted to the right people, according to our conscious mind's evaluation of it, until we do that inner work for us to heal, to become secure to self.

And then that's what we'll be attracted to and want to invest in with other people.

Yes.

So earlier when I was saying there was the original attachment theory, it was like these are the attachment cells, but it kind of just talked about their temperaments and some of the themes in their childhood and how they behave.

I had already been doing this work with like the core wounds and the needs and the nervous system frameworks with people and how people communicate and how they behave.

And I was specifically in the body of work for the first few years I was working with people just helping people like rewire their painful patterns.

And a lot of it was from their childhood conditioning, but I hadn't ever put it into the theme of like attachment styles.

And then when I, you know, met my husband and we started getting more serious and I was like, ooh, I still have a little, like, relationship work to do.

I've done a lot of work to be really peaceful within myself, but I had a little relationship work to do with him.

And I kind of felt like he also had some work to do with me.

And I revisited more about learning about relationships.