Thais Gibson

And so they notice everything.

And the really interesting part is that becomes deep, deep in their programming.

I joke that fearful avoidance are the human lie detectors.

Totally.

They can't help it.

And it's tricky if you're not, like, you know, for me, when I was fearful avoidant, one of the hardest things is it also comes with a lot of core wounds.

You've got a little more attachment trauma.

So you have some of the anxious side wounds where you fear abandonment because sometimes love is really good and you don't want to lose that good version of mom or dad.

Yes.

And so sometimes there's this deep fear of abandonment and being unloved, but there's also this wound of being alone.

Like it's always all on you to figure out and to do and kind of you're left carrying the bag.

And like there's sort of that dynamic.

But then there's this huge belief system that fearful avoidance tend to develop, which is A, I'm always going to be betrayed, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, right?

Always on high alert.

And then B,

this deep feeling of unworthiness.

Like, oh, I have to earn love.

I have to earn attention.

I have to earn care.

Because usually you grew up in an environment of some kind where it was unstable enough that you didn't really get love directed at you because there was too much chaos with your parents.