Thais Gibson

This person is going to, can I really trust?

Is this person trying to control me?

Like all of these, my mind was so busy.

And when I really did a lot of this rewiring out of all those painful patterns, it felt like I had so much space back in my mind.

Like I had space to think of how I wanted to design my life and create things and just like room to be present in things.

And that was just such a beautiful piece.

So that's pillar number one.

Pillar number two is people have to learn their own needs and how to meet them in the relationship to themselves.

We'll get into how to communicate them after, but in the relationship to self first.

And the reason for this is it reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Gabor Mate.

And he says, trauma are the things that happened that shouldn't have happened.

That's the obvious, like the abuse, things like that in childhood.

But trauma is also the things that happened or that, sorry, that didn't happen that should have happened.

And that's like the neglect.

Yeah.

You know, or that's that maybe you didn't feel safe as a child or seen or protected or you didn't feel like your parents were present enough with you growing up.

So that's also trauma because in a perfect world, we actually would have had our needs met in a healthy and consistent way where we felt like we could really rely on people.

And so that's our second pillar is I get people to go in and audit what are your biggest unmet needs from childhood.

And you'll see people for some people it's like I didn't feel like my parents were present enough with me or I didn't feel protected or I didn't feel like I had that ability to really learn from a parent or be deeply seen or known or attuned to.

I mean there's a lot of needs in there but we give a big list of needs and it's okay if these are your deepest unmet needs what's really interesting is we internalize all of that conditioning.