Thais Gibson

And then fearful avoidance like to learn about other people too, but they also like to learn about themselves.

But then you get the skew towards dismissive avoidance.

So you get everybody wanting to learn about the avoidance because of the sort of polarization.

So I can take you through the differences, okay?

So fearful avoidance and grow up generally with a lot more chaos, bigger T-trauma.

So you'll usually see dynamics where there could be things like mom's an alcoholic, dad has narcissistic personality disorder.

These things that basically the overarching theme are that you never know what version of somebody you're going to get.

So as an analogy, if mom's a drinker and one day she comes home and she's had a few drinks,

She's in a good mood and she comes home and she's happy.

She's nice.

And you're like, as a child, you're like, oh, I want closeness.

I like mom.

I want to be closer.

It feels good to be around her today.

But then a few hours later, she keeps drinking or a couple of days later, she's drinking a lot more.

I know she's passed out and you don't know if she's okay and you're so scared or she's mean and she's angry drunk and she's cruel.

And so you're like, I don't know what version I'm going to get.

Same thing if you have a parent who's a narcissist.

Like one day they love mom and you're the golden child.

Another day they're tearing you apart because they're taking their anger out on you.