Thomas Curran

It's just one mistake.

Many, many mistakes you're going to make.

um and there's always next time right so these kind of very compassionate kind ways of talking to yourself whenever we've done whenever we screwed up rather than why why are you so stupid like what were you thinking sort of thing which you know we do all the time but it's so important we don't do that um yeah so you know that's those are those are a few things um

There's also like diarying, I find quite useful as well, like writing down those irrational thoughts around, I must do this, I have to do that.

And if I don't do this, X is going to happen.

That's also very unhealthy because perfectionistic people catastrophize a lot.

Diarying, so writing down thoughts and beliefs.

Um, so as I said, probation be catastrophize a lot.

So, you know, if they feel like something's gonna go wrong or it may go wrong, um, they worry about the consequences and how it's gonna look to other people.

Right.

Um, yeah, because that's, because that's really like this, the source of their self esteem, other people's approval, other people's validation.

So if we slip up and screw up, we're instantly gonna think that's gonna be castrate.

Everyone's gonna see, everyone's gonna find out.

And I'm going to be a less acceptable person in their eyes.

So this is why it's so important to just stop for a moment and just reflect on that belief.

And ask yourself, do you actually believe that?

And what is the actual consequence of slipping up in this situation?

And reframe those beliefs into more compassionate beliefs, but also more constructive beliefs that help you push yourself into those moments where you feel like you might be judged.

So public speaking is one for me.

It took me so much effort because I didn't think I was a very good public speaker.