Tig Notaro

That doesn't seem possible.

The whole time? It's just breastfeeding the entire restaurant. Table service is so slow. Sorry, I'm breastfeeding.

The whole time? It's just breastfeeding the entire restaurant. Table service is so slow. Sorry, I'm breastfeeding.

The whole time? It's just breastfeeding the entire restaurant. Table service is so slow. Sorry, I'm breastfeeding.

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So I live in Los Angeles, and I went to this party with my friend Pam. And we were going to leave the party, and she said to me, do you know who that was standing by the door? I said, no. She said, that was Taylor Dayne. Do you know Taylor Dana? No? She was a pop singer in the late 80s, early 90s. She sang, Love Will Lead You Back. She sang, Tell It To My Heart. Anyway, I love Taylor Dane.

So I live in Los Angeles, and I went to this party with my friend Pam. And we were going to leave the party, and she said to me, do you know who that was standing by the door? I said, no. She said, that was Taylor Dayne. Do you know Taylor Dana? No? She was a pop singer in the late 80s, early 90s. She sang, Love Will Lead You Back. She sang, Tell It To My Heart. Anyway, I love Taylor Dane.

And not ironically. Yes! I love Taylor Dayne. So I went back into the party and I went up to her and I said, excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, but I just have to tell you, I love your voice. And she just turned and said, yeah, I don't do that anymore. And then I looked over and this other friend of mine was doubled over laughing at me. She was like, yeah, you just got dissed by Taylor Dane.

And not ironically. Yes! I love Taylor Dayne. So I went back into the party and I went up to her and I said, excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, but I just have to tell you, I love your voice. And she just turned and said, yeah, I don't do that anymore. And then I looked over and this other friend of mine was doubled over laughing at me. She was like, yeah, you just got dissed by Taylor Dane.

Didn't feel great. So I left the party. Then like nine months passed. And I happened to be out to eat with that same friend of mine, Pam. And there was a party of 10 seated right behind us. You guys are not going to believe who was sitting there. Any guesses? Just think about, what's that? That's correct. It was Taylor Dane. Pam said, oh my gosh, you have to say something to her.

Didn't feel great. So I left the party. Then like nine months passed. And I happened to be out to eat with that same friend of mine, Pam. And there was a party of 10 seated right behind us. You guys are not going to believe who was sitting there. Any guesses? Just think about, what's that? That's correct. It was Taylor Dane. Pam said, oh my gosh, you have to say something to her.

And I said, no question. Because I still love Taylor Dayne. But I didn't know what to say to her. And then I realized the best thing that I could say to Taylor Dayne would be the exact same sentence that I said the first time. So I turned around. and I interrupted her entire dinner. And I said, excuse me, sorry to bother you, but I just have to tell you, I love your voice.

And I said, no question. Because I still love Taylor Dayne. But I didn't know what to say to her. And then I realized the best thing that I could say to Taylor Dayne would be the exact same sentence that I said the first time. So I turned around. and I interrupted her entire dinner. And I said, excuse me, sorry to bother you, but I just have to tell you, I love your voice.

And she said, my speaking voice? And I said, Yes. I was sitting here with my friend. I heard someone talking behind me. I said, I need to turn around and compliment this person on their speaking voice. And what I didn't realize at the time was that Taylor Dane was pursuing an acting career, which I guess is why she was no longer accepting compliments. And her singing voice.

And she said, my speaking voice? And I said, Yes. I was sitting here with my friend. I heard someone talking behind me. I said, I need to turn around and compliment this person on their speaking voice. And what I didn't realize at the time was that Taylor Dane was pursuing an acting career, which I guess is why she was no longer accepting compliments. And her singing voice.

Then like a year passed. And at this point, I've told all of my friends about my run-ins with Taylor Dane. and how she's the easiest person in the world to run into. Like, I'm not even convinced that she's not here tonight. So I was at my writing partner Kyle's house, and my phone rang, and it was Sarah Silverman. And at the time, Sarah was dating Jimmy Kimmel. And Sarah called and said, guess

Then like a year passed. And at this point, I've told all of my friends about my run-ins with Taylor Dane. and how she's the easiest person in the world to run into. Like, I'm not even convinced that she's not here tonight. So I was at my writing partner Kyle's house, and my phone rang, and it was Sarah Silverman. And at the time, Sarah was dating Jimmy Kimmel. And Sarah called and said, guess

who's promoting a new CD on Jimmy's show tomorrow night. You guys will not believe who it was. Yes, it was Taylor Day. You're good with patterns. Sarah said, I want you to come down to Jimmy's show tomorrow night. And I want you to say those exact same words that you said the other times. And I said, no question. But I didn't end up having to go to Jimmy's show the next night.