Tim Ferriss

And to really understand why they feel the way they do,

what if done differently would have changed anything?

It's like, man, so many of the problems just go away.

It's kind of like meditating, where it's like, don't fix anything.

Just like, actually don't try to fix anything.

Just sit there and develop more awareness.

And then like, oh, all these problems go away.

Oh, my friend's chronic pain went away.

What's going on?

Who cares about the mechanism?"

It's like, going from problem solving, right, which is closely related to problem seeking, to understanding someone's inner experience, as opposed to trying to, like, validate your objective reality.

may sound a little squishy, but listen to Terry Real.

Gives you a lot of practical tools and language you can use.

That is a huge part of life, as I've already talked about, that I've revamped my entire way I think about my calendar, the entire way I commit time, defend time, say no to things, around these most important life-giving, energy-giving relationships.

And that means how you navigate those, how you interact with people, how you cultivate your EQ, how you feel what someone is saying, not just listen to what they're saying, preparing to offer them some words of condolence.

Maybe that's not what they need.

Like, bearing witness to that person in a true felt sense is... It's like, if my 20-year-old self could hear me saying this, like, would have vomited in his mouth, but it's like, at that time, I was a bull in a china shop.

I was leaving just a wake of collateral damage in my relationships.

Not because I was abusive.

Like, was not abusive.