Tina Selig

And it actually works the opposite.

Luck is a long game.

Because I'm going to ask you, have you ever had this situation where there's someone you know and they did something that was not very nice or something that was unseemly or treated you badly or didn't show appreciation?

And then many years later,

You get a reference call for them or they ask for help.

And you kind of do a double take and think, do I really want to?

Am I going to give this person a good reference?

Am I going to really help this person?

Whereas if they had been someone who had been generous to you in the past without wanting anything in return, when it comes time for them to need something from you, you will be very generous in offering a fabulous recommendation or an opportunity.

Do you agree with me?

Right, but people don't realize that.

You know, I sometimes have someone in my life who does something that's really inappropriate.

And the first thing I think is, wow, you made a big mistake.

Because of course, you could get away with that right now.

But I am pretty sure that at some point in the future, someone is going to ask someone on my team, someone's going to ask them for a reference for you.

and everyone just saw this behavior, they're not going to help you.

Well, I'll give you just a simple example that I see all the time.

I mean, I work at a university, and I might bring in someone really fascinating to come and speak to the students.

And that person would say at the end, you know, feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions or to reach out, you know, if you want my slides.

Do you know how many people actually follow up?