Tod Kelly

It's this incredibly expensive, black, gorgeous BMW.

And the person, how could he have not known that he'd just run me off the road, doesn't think anything of it, just shoots on along through traffic.

And I had this moment of clarity where I decided everything in my life would be better if I passed him and cut him off

And this is rush hour traffic, and it's in Portland, and everybody's going about 35 or 40 miles an hour, except the guy who I'm chasing, who's going about 60.

And it sounds more dangerous than it probably is.

He's a phenomenal driver.

And this car...

It handles beautifully.

And it's almost as if all the other cars recognize that this is a superior car and they have to get out of the way.

And it's like watching a dolphin go through water.

And I would have no chance of following him because now I'm going in his wake and he's going back and forth and it suddenly hits me.

I suddenly know he knows that I'm following him and that's why he's going faster.

And this is why he won't like do anything.

And we come up and we get to the exit where I'm supposed to get off and get to work on time.

And I think, no, because justice has to be served.

So I barrel on, and we're going, and we're going, and we're going through the curves.

And I should not go through the curves in this car because there's an odd thing about my car.

Not all the time, but sometimes when you turn the wheel, it's a little while before the thing turns.

So I'm now actually cutting other people off accidentally.

And again, before you think hypocritical, asshole cutting off, cutting off for justice.