Tom Segura

speaker

30,769 appearances 112 recordings 13 series first heard Sep 2022 last heard 6d ago

Tom Segura’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 42 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 7.

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But the way in which I had to beat everybody in your Two Bears 5K, that was not normal and that wasn't- Dude, yeah.

I was sprinting.

How fast did you run that in?

I don't know why I felt so sick after.

I almost threw up.

I wanted to die.

You did it 300 times for no fucking reason.

No, I did it twice, but the second one was worthless.

As soon as I got into like, I was a quarter of the way through it.

I was like, I shouldn't be doing this.

You already did one.

I know, but it was like, then that's when all you guys showed up.

And then everyone else was doing it.

So I was like, I can't fucking not do it.

I hated it.

Everyone stayed with you guys because you guys kind of ran back.

And like, I think some people are trying to be cool and run with you guys.

But my competitive psychoness was like, suck my dick Burton fucking Tom.

And I was like, and then I was trying to be, my goal was to be the first comedian to get through.

Did you?

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