Tom Simons

speaker

997 appearances 2 recordings 1 series first heard Jun 2026 last heard 21 Jun

Tom Simons’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

Trend

recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.

Appearances

newest first · ▶ plays the moment

Shut Up I’m Talking · Jack’s awkward live show, opening viewer gifts & Tom’s illness · 14 Jun 2026 podcast

And I'm looking in the info and I am and I'm changing the accessibility and I'm changing the touch and I'm changing the privacy settings, Jack, because all your photos will be to everyone and they won't be synced.

And you'll be 80 years old and you'll have no photos because you didn't sync them on your iCloud via the settings.

Were you sat over Hang on.

Let me just set the record straight.

May I?

You did a poo and then got on all fours afterwards.

Presumably not after wiping.

So you're not on all fours.

Well, how would you access the poo?

It would be under layers of toilet paper.

I actually haven't wiped.

And you sat there with a pooy bum crouched over your toilet, spooning poo into a jar.

No, no.

How did you do it then?

Explain how you did it more elegantly than that.

So I I first took to it.

Well at least you can use your camera to take a picture of it.

Hey, hey, do you remember do you remember at school when you'd have the the shots day and everyone would go get needles in their arm and suddenly you'd see all the cool kids that were scared of needles and you'd be like, ah, you have flaws?

I remember I get to see tears in their eyes.

I was like, ah, you may be cooler than me, but I don't cry at needles, you fucking losers.

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