Tony Hawk

I'm autistic and bisexual like every other annoying bitch now.

It's a one-to-one ratio.

If you have autism, you're bisexual.

They don't explain why, but I have a theory.

I think it's because pussy's like the coolest fidget spinner you could ever get your hands on.

And just like a real fidget spinner, I don't really know how they work, but I will put my whole mouth on it, so.

I said that joke to my coworker the other day and she liked it, she laughed, it was fine.

But then she just looked at me and she was like, oh.

And she was like, but are you, you're not gonna, you're gonna say that on stage?

Isn't your dad coming to the show?

And I was like, first of all, no.

Do I look like someone with a supportive father?

No, I don't.

I look like the Pornhub version of Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

That's what I fucking look like.

Homeless guy told me that yesterday.

Which was crazy.

I was like, how do you know?

What was she on like the front cover of your blanket?

Like, how do you know who the fuck that is?