Topaz Adizes

To say, okay, in that space, now we can ask these well-constructed questions that put us in discomfort and we can actually be uncomfortable because we know we're safe. But just because you're uncomfortable does not mean you're not safe. And vice versa, just because you feel comfortable does not actually mean you're safe.

To say, okay, in that space, now we can ask these well-constructed questions that put us in discomfort and we can actually be uncomfortable because we know we're safe. But just because you're uncomfortable does not mean you're not safe. And vice versa, just because you feel comfortable does not actually mean you're safe.

So making that distinction is good and not shying away from discomfort and actually leaning into it, but making sure that the space is created that you feel safe. And then you can ask questions in a way that reinforce that safety or not.

So making that distinction is good and not shying away from discomfort and actually leaning into it, but making sure that the space is created that you feel safe. And then you can ask questions in a way that reinforce that safety or not.

There's a lot of power in the questions, and we're always so focused on the answers, and we don't realize how, by shaping the question, you are shaping the answer. This is huge. So let me just give a very simple example. It's 7.30, 8 o'clock, and you go to your kids, and you say, hey, you want to go to sleep? What do you think the answer is? We all know it's no. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

There's a lot of power in the questions, and we're always so focused on the answers, and we don't realize how, by shaping the question, you are shaping the answer. This is huge. So let me just give a very simple example. It's 7.30, 8 o'clock, and you go to your kids, and you say, hey, you want to go to sleep? What do you think the answer is? We all know it's no. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

You ask the question, do you want to go to sleep? It's like, yes or no. I mean, okay. But if you go and say, hey, kids, you want to sleep on the couch or in the bed? You've already shaped the answer. The answer is bed or the couch. The question has shaped the answer, the options. Oftentimes, we're so good at finding answers, but oftentimes we find the right answers to the wrong questions.

You ask the question, do you want to go to sleep? It's like, yes or no. I mean, okay. But if you go and say, hey, kids, you want to sleep on the couch or in the bed? You've already shaped the answer. The answer is bed or the couch. The question has shaped the answer, the options. Oftentimes, we're so good at finding answers, but oftentimes we find the right answers to the wrong questions.

Put more emphasis on the questions. Why did this campaign fail? Why did this candidate not work out? What about saying, let me change that question. What can we learn from this campaign that we could take to the next? What was the failure of this candidate that started the company and didn't work out? What can we do to improve to ensure that the next one doesn't have the same failure?

Put more emphasis on the questions. Why did this campaign fail? Why did this candidate not work out? What about saying, let me change that question. What can we learn from this campaign that we could take to the next? What was the failure of this candidate that started the company and didn't work out? What can we do to improve to ensure that the next one doesn't have the same failure?

So you're asking questions that are giving you answers that are constructive that you can actually have agency from versus saying, why did this campaign not work? Oh, here's a thousand reasons why not. Shift the question such that the answers you get are going to be constructive to your life, to your business.

So you're asking questions that are giving you answers that are constructive that you can actually have agency from versus saying, why did this campaign not work? Oh, here's a thousand reasons why not. Shift the question such that the answers you get are going to be constructive to your life, to your business.

Let's just take a very simple question because power dynamics are really important in the workplace. And you're trying to create a safe space where you can share your opinion, but you also don't want to get fired or piss off the boss or the politics of the culture. So you're in a meeting. It's a group of you.

Let's just take a very simple question because power dynamics are really important in the workplace. And you're trying to create a safe space where you can share your opinion, but you also don't want to get fired or piss off the boss or the politics of the culture. So you're in a meeting. It's a group of you.

And whoever's running the meeting with the power dynamics, let's say they are the executive who's running the meeting, has responsibility for some decisions or the unit leading the team. And they ask a question.

And whoever's running the meeting with the power dynamics, let's say they are the executive who's running the meeting, has responsibility for some decisions or the unit leading the team. And they ask a question.

First of all, the fact that they're asking a question is already a power play because they get to ask the question and everyone on the team is going, wait, why are they asking that question? But here comes that question. You're in the meeting and the boss goes, Stephanie, why did our marketing campaign fail? Why did the product fail? or whatever? Why did the product succeed?

First of all, the fact that they're asking a question is already a power play because they get to ask the question and everyone on the team is going, wait, why are they asking that question? But here comes that question. You're in the meeting and the boss goes, Stephanie, why did our marketing campaign fail? Why did the product fail? or whatever? Why did the product succeed?

That question shapes that your answer is going to give an objective truth about reality. It failed because this and this, this. Now everyone else in the room is going, that's not why it failed. No, wait, that's not why it failed. And now we have some type of conflict because the question has actually invited you to give an objective truth, which everyone else has different opinions about.

That question shapes that your answer is going to give an objective truth about reality. It failed because this and this, this. Now everyone else in the room is going, that's not why it failed. No, wait, that's not why it failed. And now we have some type of conflict because the question has actually invited you to give an objective truth, which everyone else has different opinions about.