Travis Kelsey

This guy's helping me get out of it. I swear. Right. He doesn't embarrass you that you had a panic attack. Exactly. I got sent home. I had the next day of school off. So because it all happened on school property, it all ended up being covered by the school, which is great because my family didn't have health insurance. Oh my God. So my mom would have gotten really screwed.

Going to the hospital in an ambulance is incredibly expensive.

Going to the hospital in an ambulance is incredibly expensive.

Going to the hospital in an ambulance is incredibly expensive.

It would put my family into so much trouble financially. The next day I go back to school, I shamelessly made my way over to Mrs. Puff's room. She's like, Noah. She hugs me. She's like, I'm so glad to see you. I'm like, thanks. This is so bad. I'm feeling so much better. I missed that test the other day. Can I make it up after school? And she's like, don't worry about that test.

It would put my family into so much trouble financially. The next day I go back to school, I shamelessly made my way over to Mrs. Puff's room. She's like, Noah. She hugs me. She's like, I'm so glad to see you. I'm like, thanks. This is so bad. I'm feeling so much better. I missed that test the other day. Can I make it up after school? And she's like, don't worry about that test.

It would put my family into so much trouble financially. The next day I go back to school, I shamelessly made my way over to Mrs. Puff's room. She's like, Noah. She hugs me. She's like, I'm so glad to see you. I'm like, thanks. This is so bad. I'm feeling so much better. I missed that test the other day. Can I make it up after school? And she's like, don't worry about that test.

She gave me an A or a B, so it didn't affect my grade.

She gave me an A or a B, so it didn't affect my grade.

She gave me an A or a B, so it didn't affect my grade.

So I didn't tell anyone about it. It was like two years later, I told my best friend about it. We were smoking weed and I was like, Brian, I fucking faked the heart attack. It's like, what? The heart attack.

So I didn't tell anyone about it. It was like two years later, I told my best friend about it. We were smoking weed and I was like, Brian, I fucking faked the heart attack. It's like, what? The heart attack.

So I didn't tell anyone about it. It was like two years later, I told my best friend about it. We were smoking weed and I was like, Brian, I fucking faked the heart attack. It's like, what? The heart attack.

Later on my senior year of high school, this is like three years later, I was in a talent show. I did a standup bit and I was not really doing good at writing jokes. So I decided to tell the heart attack story. Turns out Mrs. Puff is one of the judges at the talent show.

Later on my senior year of high school, this is like three years later, I was in a talent show. I did a standup bit and I was not really doing good at writing jokes. So I decided to tell the heart attack story. Turns out Mrs. Puff is one of the judges at the talent show.

Later on my senior year of high school, this is like three years later, I was in a talent show. I did a standup bit and I was not really doing good at writing jokes. So I decided to tell the heart attack story. Turns out Mrs. Puff is one of the judges at the talent show.

Yeah. I said it all happened in sixth grade. I changed her name to Mrs. Applebottom Jeans Boots with the Fur because that was in the zeitgeist at the time. The bit killed and I won the talent show.

Yeah. I said it all happened in sixth grade. I changed her name to Mrs. Applebottom Jeans Boots with the Fur because that was in the zeitgeist at the time. The bit killed and I won the talent show.

Yeah. I said it all happened in sixth grade. I changed her name to Mrs. Applebottom Jeans Boots with the Fur because that was in the zeitgeist at the time. The bit killed and I won the talent show.

Oh, my God, Mrs. Puff.