Trinny Woodall

I felt...

lonely because I arrived late everyone knew each other and I didn't it really um isolated it really uh brought up in me that feeling when I was much younger I found it very difficult to make friends and also I'd been you know at a boarding school early taken out then I was sick then I had to tutor then I went to an American school then I went back to boarding school at 10 when everyone else was 11 then I stayed down a year so I was very challenged making friends

and also moving countries.

So this feeling I had when I went was, and a part of probably feelings I, the reason I used is to give me this confidence to be able to be, you know, this sort of person who is, you know, can make lots of friends and be sort of sociable, be sociable.

It gave me that sociability, which I didn't have.

So then when you strip back

all the drug use and you're left with yourself, but you're not working on yourself.

It's so raw, that feeling even more, and there's nothing to numb it, of that isolation and I'm so different.

And it wasn't that I looked down and said that, I just thought, I don't belong here because I feel they're all friends in a club and I'm not a part of it.

And then I felt...

because I wasn't finding a grounding there that my old life was appealing because it made me feel less lonely.

And one night I was out with friends and somebody said, do you want a line?

I thought, why the fuck not?

There wasn't that barrier of look what's going to happen if I do again.

You couldn't pull it forward.

Couldn't pull it forward.

So then I relapsed.

And then that time of relapse is when... And anyone listening who has or been through this knows this one.

When you know there's a solution, the joy of using it disappears.

So I had three or four years of just very...