Tucker Carlson
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Appearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
I jumped in my car.
I punched what I thought was a Garmin.
It was not.
It was, sorry.
It's outdated technology.
Outdated technology.
I drove in a circle until I ran out of fuel.
I got no idea.
Eventually, dejected, I went home to the wrong house.
Knock on the neighbor's door.
Tried to bang a stranger.
She was wearing a housecoat.
It wasn't like my wife, but it was the same color.
No, ma'am.
So I headed back out to walk in a circle on my own lawn until eventually I was overtaken by heat prostration and I passed out.
Need hydration.
Hydration solves prostration.
And I woke up the next day.
Somebody handed me one of those wooden cups with a wooden ball and a string on the end of it.
I'd be goddamned if I could get that ball into that cup.