Uncle Lazer

Well, I was, excuse me, Tony, I was a Pi Kappa Alpha at the University of Tennessee.

And Tony, one of my fondest memories of the first time I foot a ton of funnel in my asshole, the first time I butt chugged, Tony, that happened up in Knoxville, Tennessee, about three hours away.

So it really is so nice.

I ended up... Wow.

Oh, yeah, I was putting it in the first time right outside of Dollywood!

But yeah, so that's a good memory.

Did that.

Got a couple staff infections in my butt.

Everybody buy a pair of the basketball socks, please, on the Adidas eBay site after this.

Please.

Please.

Because I told them I'm going to mention the basketball socks.

Maybe some candy apples!

Okay, that's all I got, Tony.

And then I'm going to fucking go back, order some Papa John's again, and then on purpose order the White Castle.

I gorged myself last night.

My heart rate goes way up right before I put my finger in my mouth.

I get so nervous before I fucking make myself throw up, and my heart rate goes through the roof at the beginning part.

Who's your coach, Rosie O'Donnell?

I'm sorry, Kid Rock.