Vanessa Marin

You know exactly what's coming.

You can predict it.

You could script it out.

And it doesn't feel very exciting.

But I've found that the longer that couples are in relationships, it actually feels more intimidating to try new things, to break out of that mold.

So there are so many couples who are having just very routine sex, doing the same thing over and over again.

And it may not even be bad sex.

When Xander and I have sex like that, we both still have orgasms.

It still feels good.

We're still connected.

But it's not great sex either, right?

So it's how do we expand that repertoire out a little bit more?

So one of the big mistakes that couples make here is they hear try new things in the bedroom and they think,

Oh God, now I have to like have a threesome and we've got to do some like kinky Fifty Shades of Grey stuff.

I need to like get the ropes and tie her up and we're hanging for the rafters and all that kind of stuff.

Like we get very overwhelmed and intimidated, right?

But that doesn't have to be the case.

So the best starting point that I tell couples is think about what's something that you used to do with your partner that you haven't done in a long time.

It doesn't have to be brand new, just something that you used to do that you haven't done in a while.

So maybe it could be as simple as, you know what?