Vanessa Marin

It could be safe.

It could be exploratory.

Any words come into mind for you?

What about some of the words when I was asking you earlier, like how you feel after you've had really great sex?

You're saying confident.

Confident, connected.

Yeah.

Yeah, and that is a huge thing that comes up, unfortunately, for so many women.

We really struggle with that.

That's another way that men can help women out in the bedroom.

We are so, so self-conscious of our bodies, right?

We've been taught to be that way our entire lives.

I mean, I grew up in the 90s.

I will never forget being in the grocery store checkout line with my parents and seeing all the, you know, Cosmo magazines of like six positions to hide your belly flab.

That's how I grew up, being taught, like, how do I hide my body during sex?

I don't want my partner to see my flab, my roles, my imperfections.

And that's what, you know, most of us women are thinking during sex a lot of the time.

I remember Xander and I had a conversation about it.

I asked him, like, what are you thinking about your body when we have sex?

He looked at me like he couldn't even understand the question, like, what do you mean?