Vanessa Marin

And then once people start being intimate with each other, when you're scheduling a date, you're essentially scheduling sex.

You know, once you start having sex and you know, hey, we're going to go out to dinner on Friday, you know you're going to have sex on Friday too, right?

We've been scheduling sex from the very beginning.

So it's not that it was so spontaneous and different in the beginning and now we're this boring old married couple and have to schedule sex.

Like, we've been doing it from the beginning.

So it's just about changing our attitudes around it.

So I actually don't use the phrase scheduled sex because it just sounds boring.

I'll use intentional intimacy or planning for sex.

So when I talked earlier about how Xander and I will talk in the beginning of the day, that's essentially scheduling sex.

But it doesn't feel boring.

It doesn't feel like a drag.

It feels exciting.

When are we going to have the time for ourselves?

When are we making sure we carve that time out?

And I think we have this tendency to only look at scheduling in a negative way when it comes to sex.

Like, here's another example.

Think of your kids.

Do they play any sports?

Okay, so if your kid has a jujitsu competition or what do they call it?

Okay, he's not quite there yet, but okay.