Vanessa Marin

So that's the second one.

And then the third one is touch.

I think I mentioned earlier that women in particular, like we really want to be touched more outside of sex.

And men do too.

I think so many of us are feeling touch starved in our relationships.

We feel like we just don't have that physical contact with each other.

A lot of us have gotten into the habit where we only touch, we only kiss each other during sex or immediately in the lead up to sex.

And we start creating this really harmful pattern called the bristle reaction that we can talk about next if that's the only time we're touching and kissing each other.

So I want couples to reach out for each other, touch each other, kiss each other more often during the day.

So there are two specific types of touch that we have research on, the 30-second hug and the six-second kiss.

So those are the approximate timeframes that our bodies need to release oxytocin

the bonding hormone, the love hormone.

That's what makes us feel close to each other.

And it's really cool because especially with a hug, you can feel it.

So if you hug your wife, you can try this later, give her a hug, stay in the hug.

So first you'll notice like, this is an awkwardly long hug.

And then if you wait it out a few more seconds, you will feel your body

like melt into hers and hers melt into yours.

It's such a cool feeling and it just makes us feel like so close and connected with each other.

But most of us like, we just don't hug anymore or it's a quick like, you know, super quick embrace before someone runs out the door.