Vanessa Marin

I locked it down.

They're always going to be there.

And so we let them drop farther and farther and farther down our priority list until the point where they really feel more like roommates rather than romantic partners.

I mean, most couples will say, we're like two ships passing in the night.

Or we're business partners in managing a household, managing the kids' schedules and all the stuff, but that spark between the two of us is gone.

So it's really, we've stopped making space for each other to connect with each other, to spend time with each other, to remind ourselves like, oh yeah,

I like you.

You're fun to spend time with, right?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Initiating is wildly, wildly vulnerable.

You're talking about initiating sex in particular?

Yeah.

Yeah.

We don't give enough credit to how vulnerable it is to initiate.

And in male-female relationships, you know, it's almost always the man who's doing the initiating.

That's kind of the idea that we have.

Like, yeah, the guy is supposed to want it more, so he's supposed to initiate.

And I think as women, a lot of us don't recognize how vulnerable that is, how hard it is to put yourself out there and ask to be intimate.

You're putting yourself in the position to be turned down.