Vanessa Marin

So I'll give you a couple of examples.

One of the types is called take care of me.

And a lot of women tend to be of this type where we want to feel like there's emotional connection first.

Like you care about me as a human.

You're interested in me.

You want to spend a little quality time with me.

We're easing into it rather than just, you know, zero to 100.

So for somebody who's of that type, a really successful way to initiate might be something like, hey, babe, I'm going to handle bedtime with the kids tonight.

Why don't you go take a bath, relax, and then you and I can meet in the bedroom in about half an hour.

Something like that would feel so good for so many women.

Versus I'll give you a totally different type is called the play with me type where you like initiation to be more like playful and silly.

Xander and I do this type a lot like we'll do we'll be watching a football game and we'll make a bet on who's going to win this game.

Okay whoever wins this bet they get to have decide like what kind of sex they want to have tonight.

You know, we're being silly about it or we're like, we'll have a secret emoji that we send to each other.

And that means like, hey, I'm interested right now.

Oh, nice.

It's more playful, right?

So you can see that those are two very different kinds of styles.

And if you're initiating in the style that's not really what your partner likes, it's probably not going to land as well.

Yeah, you absolutely can.