Vanessa Van Edwards

A lot of people do. A lot of people do. It's the basis of resting bothered face. Yeah. This is the basis. There's actually science behind RBF. And it's that most people misidentify neutral expressions as negative. And by the way, an interesting thing they found in the research with this was if you are an angrier person, if you tend to get angry more, you see more neutral faces as angry.

A lot of people do. A lot of people do. It's the basis of resting bothered face. Yeah. This is the basis. There's actually science behind RBF. And it's that most people misidentify neutral expressions as negative. And by the way, an interesting thing they found in the research with this was if you are an angrier person, if you tend to get angry more, you see more neutral faces as angry.

Ooh, I didn't even think about that. So in a way, the way you see the world changes the world, right? Like if you were an angry person and you're misinterpreting neutral faces as angry, and then you reply back with anger or offensiveness or defensiveness, you make them angry.

Ooh, I didn't even think about that. So in a way, the way you see the world changes the world, right? Like if you were an angry person and you're misinterpreting neutral faces as angry, and then you reply back with anger or offensiveness or defensiveness, you make them angry.

And so this is like this weird cue cycle. Okay, so if there's 97 different cues, I started categorizing them because I was like, I don't, I'm misinterpreting. And I would say to my husband, I think she's mad at me. And he'd be like, why? I'd go to a party, I'd be like, everyone's mad at me. And he'd be like, I didn't see that at all.

And so this is like this weird cue cycle. Okay, so if there's 97 different cues, I started categorizing them because I was like, I don't, I'm misinterpreting. And I would say to my husband, I think she's mad at me. And he'd be like, why? I'd go to a party, I'd be like, everyone's mad at me. And he'd be like, I didn't see that at all.

And that's when I started to realize, okay, what are the actual negative faces? So I discovered, you know, the research on microexpressions, the seven microexpressions, which we can talk about. And then I started to categorize these patterns just for me. And then I realized there was all these other awkward people who also wanted to be able to read these social signals.

And that's when I started to realize, okay, what are the actual negative faces? So I discovered, you know, the research on microexpressions, the seven microexpressions, which we can talk about. And then I started to categorize these patterns just for me. And then I realized there was all these other awkward people who also wanted to be able to read these social signals.

And so I think that when you pick your word, starting to make your recipe of charisma,

And so I think that when you pick your word, starting to make your recipe of charisma,

Okay. So this is good. Let's add a step to our exercise, which is, I'm just thinking about this now. What's your bad day first impression word? Okay.

Okay. So this is good. Let's add a step to our exercise, which is, I'm just thinking about this now. What's your bad day first impression word? Okay.

Okay, so everyone should think about their bad first impression word, their current first impression word, and their ideal. Why? What are the triggers that trigger you to be in that bad space? And what are the triggers that make you feel in that good space? So one of the very first steps is, okay, whether you're an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert, and there is that sort of in-between,

Okay, so everyone should think about their bad first impression word, their current first impression word, and their ideal. Why? What are the triggers that trigger you to be in that bad space? And what are the triggers that make you feel in that good space? So one of the very first steps is, okay, whether you're an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert, and there is that sort of in-between,

Who triggers you to be your best self? You know how like around certain people you're like, ah, I'm my funniest. I'm my most charismatic. Great. Those are the people who bring out the good first impression. You want to be around those people as much as possible. Who are the people who bring out the bad first impression?

Who triggers you to be your best self? You know how like around certain people you're like, ah, I'm my funniest. I'm my most charismatic. Great. Those are the people who bring out the good first impression. You want to be around those people as much as possible. Who are the people who bring out the bad first impression?

Who are the people who make you feel, the way I would describe it is like tight inside. Like that's how I would describe it. Rigid, like that's what I do. I get very rigid when I'm afraid or nervous. Who makes you feel angry? Who makes you feel rigid? Who makes you feel afraid? Who makes you shut down? You know, awkwardness dresses up in a lot of different ways.

Who are the people who make you feel, the way I would describe it is like tight inside. Like that's how I would describe it. Rigid, like that's what I do. I get very rigid when I'm afraid or nervous. Who makes you feel angry? Who makes you feel rigid? Who makes you feel afraid? Who makes you shut down? You know, awkwardness dresses up in a lot of different ways.

Some people, their awkwardness is shutting down, right? They mute, they go quiet, they collapse in on themselves. They take up less space from a body language perspective, but other people get bigger and They become dramatic. They name drop. They talk too loud. They over talk. Like that's also a way that our awkwardness dress up. So what are your triggers that make you do that?

Some people, their awkwardness is shutting down, right? They mute, they go quiet, they collapse in on themselves. They take up less space from a body language perspective, but other people get bigger and They become dramatic. They name drop. They talk too loud. They over talk. Like that's also a way that our awkwardness dress up. So what are your triggers that make you do that?