Vogue

Okay, we've an agony amp.

Hey, girlies, I really need your help.

I broke up my ex about a year ago.

It wasn't dramatic, but she had started displaying some very red, flanky characteristics and behaviors, and I didn't want to be around it anymore.

Even though I initiated it, the breakup was really painful and took me a long time to get over.

The relationship really knocked my confidence and I worked hard to move on and rebuild myself while she made the breakup as hard as I possibly could have been.

My best friend was there for all of it.

Late night, voice notes, crying in her car, ranting on walks, you know, the lot.

She knows exactly how hurt I was.

Last week, I accidentally found out that she's still in contact with my ex.

My best mate was on the loo and asked me to book an Uber for us on her phone.

And there was a message from my ex.

So I scrolled the conversation.

It wasn't just the odd chat.

They're messaging regularly and have met up for coffee and dinner a few times.

She calls them friend dates.

I feel blindsided.

I don't want to be controlling and I don't know.

And I don't own either of them, but it feels like a betrayal that she didn't tell me herself.

And I don't understand why she feels the need to keep in the contact after everything she put me through at the breakup.