Wendy K. Laidlaw

It's like you want people to be nice to you, but when they, because they're invariably, there's a lot of toxic people out there.

There's a lot of angry toxic people.

So you kind of defend yourself against those people.

But when someone's nice to you, you're like, why are you being nice to me?

me yes actually even if they're genuine your old me would be like oh well once you get to know me you won't like me so it is kind of like all these beliefs and defense mechanisms that are that are there from conditioning from early childhood for whatever reason one way or the other and then we need to kind of go as you say it's like I had to get to the stage where I was constantly wanting to help people and like you can't help anyone until you help yourself help yourself first

then help someone.

And then I'm like, no, I want to help.

Nope.

Help yourself.

And I think I'd refer to it as self parenting.

If you can parent yourself and be kind to yourself.

And it's lovely to hear that, you know, you're listening to your music and your meditation and your painting, because that's very restorative on a soul level, on a spiritual level, as you talk about, um,

you know and whatever anyone else's beliefs there's still that sense of coming back to self because invariably anything and everything that you're seeking externally lies within you yeah answers whether it be questions all the answers but unless you allow yourself that space

of just giving yourself the time and just tuning in, which is counterintuitive when you're in pain, I think.

I mean, I, maybe you could send it to me cause I don't know what I did with it, but if you could send it to me, cause that would be a great before and after, wouldn't it?

You know, just for people to see.

And it's natural.

We're all quite cynical creatures, really.

We're all like, yeah, sure.

Yeah.