Will Self

I used heroin for a time with a very flamboyant character called David Martin, who was an infamous character.

You may be familiar with the story because they shot a man called Stephen Waldorf by mistake when they wanted to track down David Martin, who was a transvestite, which was why they couldn't find him.

Well, I knew David Martin well, so I was already...

by my early 20s, stuck heavily into the major London underworld.

I think it's still part of the project.

It's the saison unfair.

It's the, you know, as one of my oncologists said to me in hospital when I was complaining about large amounts of morphine they were giving me, he said, I said, I was an addict for 20 years, Carl, and I really try and stay clear of opiates.

And he said, oh, come on, Will.

The road of excess leads to the palace of enlightenment.

Yes, always writing, always writing, always involved around writing.

I started cartooning at Oxford.

And this, again, was such a formative experience.

When I left Oxford aged 20, I had my little portfolio of Spock cartoons and strips, and I went round all the newspaper offices on Fleet Street.

And you would have to... You'd go into reception, you'd have to say...

I've got some cartoons.

They'd say, well, I don't know where the cartoon is.

Is it in the pub?

Eventually he or she would come back.

And then they'd leaf through your portfolio and go, not funny, not funny, not funny.

The worst one was a private eye who was Willie Rushton's brother.