William Costello

long-term committed relationship that has to go through this ambiguity, that goes through this kind of uncertainty of dealing with fuckboys, going on these dates, getting spurned by men, because the modern mating market allows for deceptive men to pursue a deceptive strategy at unprecedented rates.

It's incredible, like you have

unprecedented levels of anonymity, access to millions of potential mates.

So for the first time in history, you can actually pursue a purely short-term deceptive mating strategy without weathering many of the classic costs that you would have.

her kin and her friends are no longer really going to take revenge on you because you live in a city millions of miles away from them.

They don't know who you are and you just move city.

And you know, a lot of men are pursuing this strategy.

So women are thinking if that's the pathway towards a committed relationship, I'd rather not because they're getting, they're not getting the benefits.

Yeah, but it's just the case that women's status-seeking goals have become very important to them.

They've been crushing it in the socioeconomic arena, and it's a fact that

getting with a long-term male partner is a massive hindrance to a woman's career.

He's not really going to want her to be around other high-status mates and rivals at work.

He's not too crazy about that idea often.

He often wants her to stay home and be the caregiver.

That's often what she wants when she gets into a long-term relationship.

So if you culturally lionize, I know it's a bit trite to say like the girl boss culture, but

That does clash with relationship formation.

It takes time to pursue a career.

And it's just, those two things are at odds.

My mother famously said, actually women can have it all, but just not at the same time.