Wyatt Cenac

Wait, what's that? You need my birth certificate too. All right, just give me a second. What's going on? John, I'm going to give you one more final chance. All right. What do you do? What do you do? Tick tock, man. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. You arrest her. Just her?

Oh, why? Because he's gay? You disgust me. No. No. We have laws to protect people. John, we have laws to protect people and flamboyantly gay monkeys, all right? And it's because of people like you that... Oh, right, I'm getting it, man. Just hold on a second, dude. Wyatt, why do you have to show your birth certificate and ID? It's cool, John. I'd stop me, too. I could be Dominican or something.

Oh, why? Because he's gay? You disgust me. No. No. We have laws to protect people. John, we have laws to protect people and flamboyantly gay monkeys, all right? And it's because of people like you that... Oh, right, I'm getting it, man. Just hold on a second, dude. Wyatt, why do you have to show your birth certificate and ID? It's cool, John. I'd stop me, too. I could be Dominican or something.

But Wyatt... Totally fine.

But Wyatt... Totally fine.

Sure, John, they'd never figure that one out in Arizona. Here's Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

Sure, John, they'd never figure that one out in Arizona. Here's Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

You hear that? They'll find something else to arrest me on. No, I'm not doing time over a busted taillight on my news van, no. Right, my birth certificate. Um, it is right... Who's gonna finish?

You hear that? They'll find something else to arrest me on. No, I'm not doing time over a busted taillight on my news van, no. Right, my birth certificate. Um, it is right... Who's gonna finish?

Thank you so much. That really means a lot. No, I'm a fan of yours as well. I was wondering if we had met before. But yeah, I've always been a big fan of you. And I miss seeing you on Around the Horn because you were so much fun on that show. Yeah.

Thank you so much. That really means a lot. No, I'm a fan of yours as well. I was wondering if we had met before. But yeah, I've always been a big fan of you. And I miss seeing you on Around the Horn because you were so much fun on that show. Yeah.

I mean, this show is just what you find out. It's not about what you ask for.

I mean, this show is just what you find out. It's not about what you ask for.

We've already started three different text threads.

We've already started three different text threads.

When I was in college, I auditioned to be the mascot and I didn't get it. At Carolina? At North Carolina, yeah. What's the Rams name? Ramses. They put a lot of thought into it. What was that audition like? They put you in the costume and then you got to like dance around and do stuff. And I didn't really know what to do. I just thought it would be fun.

When I was in college, I auditioned to be the mascot and I didn't get it. At Carolina? At North Carolina, yeah. What's the Rams name? Ramses. They put a lot of thought into it. What was that audition like? They put you in the costume and then you got to like dance around and do stuff. And I didn't really know what to do. I just thought it would be fun.

And so I put it on and I think I just did a bunch of like... hip thrusts and crotch grabs, and they were like, that's enough, and told me I had done things in that costume that had never been done before and should never be done again. Somehow you were too horny for the Ram mascot.

And so I put it on and I think I just did a bunch of like... hip thrusts and crotch grabs, and they were like, that's enough, and told me I had done things in that costume that had never been done before and should never be done again. Somehow you were too horny for the Ram mascot.

Yeah. Those mascots are here for our sexual pleasure.