Yowei Shaw

But Claudia says behind it is this voice yelling, this is unfair.

This is ridiculous.

And so the first thing is to simply accept, this is how I'm feeling.

Next up, deciding whether it's necessary to act on feelings that come up.

Like that one about the kitchen cupboard.

Do these feelings help solve the problem?

Or do they just make me more miserable?

Claudia means over everything else.

What's most important?

Is it to enjoy the time you have left with your loved one who has Alzheimer's?

Is it to give your kids a stress-free home?

And how do you work toward that without getting tangled in feelings like shame and resentment?

Claudia says, obviously, Brian only has so many resources.

There are other people involved he has to negotiate with.

But she says it's important to get clear on which caregiving tasks you can actually see yourself doing in the long run.

Because a lot of people see caregiving as all or nothing.

When maybe there's a creative, more sustainable solution.

You'd be surprised, she says, how many caregivers don't ask for help from other family members or don't take advantage of in-home care, even when they get funding from community agencies.

Brian, you were nodding when Claudia was speaking just now.

I'm curious what has been going on through your head.