Zerk

It could be something that your parents put on to you or maybe some friends early in your life did.

But now you are getting this sense of sentience, which is funny, a funny word to describe it as.

But you're having this reality check where you are like, whoa, nobody cares about me except me.

What do I do?

I've lived my life for other people.

What do I do?

And suddenly the panic buttons are starting to go off.

The control room is just overflowing because you are now realizing that you are not in control or haven't been in control of this aircraft that has been piloting your life for the past four, eight years.

And instead you have been on autopilot and the coordinates have been other people's ideas of who you are.

You're lost.

You can look at your internal GPS all you want.

You can be like, no, I know I need to go to nursing school.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I know that I'm going to become a pilot.

I know that I'm going to work as a contractor.

That's my destiny.

But you also know deep down that that's not true.

I wasn't excited to go to college.

It was fun.

If my parents had not offered it, I don't think I would have gone.