Chapter 1: What should you do when you feel lost in life?
If you are tired and not knowing what to do with your life, I want to help you. I don't promise that I have the answers. But what I do promise is I'm going to give you a perspective that maybe can start the gears turning. Because the reality is nobody else can help you other than you. And that is probably the first thing you have to realize about being lost.
The only way to get out of being lost is first acknowledge you are lost. There's an egotistical side of you that probably wants to hold on to whatever has been your personality for the last, I don't know, four, eight years of your life. Maybe for you that's been being a good student. Maybe for you that's been this idea that I'm just not worthy of anything. It can go pretty deep.
And this can be stuff that doesn't even really have anything to do with you. It could be something that your parents put on to you or maybe some friends early in your life did. But now you are getting this sense of sentience, which is funny, a funny word to describe it as. But you're having this reality check where you are like, whoa, nobody cares about me except me. What do I do?
Chapter 2: How can acknowledging your feelings of being lost help you?
I've lived my life for other people. What do I do? And suddenly the panic buttons are starting to go off. The control room is just overflowing because you are now realizing that you are not in control or haven't been in control of this aircraft that has been piloting your life for the past four, eight years.
And instead you have been on autopilot and the coordinates have been other people's ideas of who you are. You're lost. You can look at your internal GPS all you want. You can be like, no, I know I need to go to nursing school. Oh, no, no, no, no. I know that I'm going to become a pilot. I know that I'm going to work as a contractor. That's my destiny.
But you also know deep down that that's not true. I wasn't excited to go to college. It was fun.
Chapter 3: What steps can you take to regain control of your life?
If my parents had not offered it, I don't think I would have gone. But in college, I had some rude awakenings. And that was that I did not want to do anything that I was studying. I just didn't want to. And I don't mean this to sound like I'm an anti-college guy. Because listen, if you want to figure yourself out, it's not a bad place to go. If you're going to go into debt, I don't know.
Think about it at least. But the truth of the matter is... You have to realize that it's on you now. It's on you. And that's not me trying to put too much pressure on you. But if we are going to acknowledge that we are in a position that we don't want to be in, we have to acknowledge that we have to take accountability for it. That's the first step of getting unlost.
And the second thing that you should realize, and this is going to be kind of a
Chapter 4: Why is it important to understand there is no fixed destination?
When I kind of realized this, I didn't really like it. But maybe you will do better than I did. There is no destination. And there never was. There is no place that you're supposed to go. The thing that you're supposed to do is realize how you want to move in your life. How do you want to fly? How do you want to soar? Where do you want to be? What do you want to look at?
How do you want to spend your day to day? Because the title of being a doctor is great, but rarely do you think about the hundreds of hours of residency that you have to do and the sacrifice of not having a life for a good quarter of your life because you are dedicated to this goal.
You realizing that you're lost is the most freeing thing you can do as a young individual because then it makes you ask the question, what do I want? That will dictate everything else. And you can be as honest as you want to be.
Chapter 5: How can you identify what you truly want in life?
That's the beauty of it. People think that like, well, think of the term of reality, but I'm not somebody that's going to judge you. If you tell me right now, I want to be famous. Cool. Cool. Why? Well, I want to make a lot of money. It's something that, you know, I never had growing up. So it'd be great to have that. What does a lot of money mean?
Well, I mean, a lot of money would be like a Lamborghini, a Ferrari in the front yard. That'd be sick. But why do you want those things? Well, to show people that I'm famous and to show people that I've made it and I'm successful. Okay.
Chapter 6: What role does self-reflection play in personal growth?
But why do you need to prove it to other people? Well, I mean... If other people don't acknowledge it... Then... How is it true? You, my friend... Are lost. In my opinion. Hey, there's nothing wrong with a little flex. Listen, you gotta flex on your teachers. I get it, you know. But... Start to question... Your desires... Because they're probably not that grandiose.
And I'm not saying that you should humble yourself. If you have big aspirations, you have things that you want to go after. Dude, that's a good thing. Go after those things. But that is clouding your judgment of what you have at your disposal in front of you. Because some of us do not have an opportunity that will get us a Lamborghini and a Ferrari in our front yard at 18.
Chapter 7: How can finding mentors assist you on your journey?
That's not how this works. And if you really don't want those things, if those things are just like flashing things that you see on a, on a archive page that you're like, yeah, I want to be like Jordan Belford, Wolf of Wall Street. I don't think that's actually something you desire. And that is causing you to go down a path where you are destroying your gifts. Everyone is talented in something.
And the more time that you spend trying to play somebody else's game, trying to adhere to what your parents think of you, what your friends think of you, what you think society wants from you, the less time you have to actually find the thing that will build your life.
If you are a caring individual, that will get you further in nursing, further in a field where you can help people than if you just like money. If you are somebody who gets excited by solving problems, that will get you further in an engineering sense, that will get you further in an entrepreneurial sense than if you're just somebody who thinks it's cool to have the title CEO or engineer.
Because what you will find in this world is part of the reason you think you are lost is because you do not think that you are good at anything and that you are not good enough. And the remedy to this is to realize that you are good at something. Now it is about being honest and figuring out what that thing is. And changing the way that you view your success.
I'm not saying you shouldn't aspire to make money. I'm not saying that you shouldn't, you know, aspire to have a nice house and have a family. Those are all things I aspire to do.
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Chapter 8: What practical steps can you take to initiate change?
But I also realized that maybe I'm not as gifted with crunching numbers as somebody else. Maybe I'm not as gifted at designing things as somebody else. Maybe I'm not as gifted in engineering a rocket ship like somebody else. Maybe I can't be a veterinarian and take care of a dog. Who needs a... What do dogs usually get at the vet? Help me out here. Who needs his nails trimmed, right?
His paws trimmed. You are walking on somebody else's road. And that road does not lead anywhere. So now you have to figure out where you are going to walk. And if that means turning back around, having the humility to realize you might have to start from ground zero is what you need to do. Zerk, this is great. You are making a metaphor for my life right now. What do I do? Okay, I'll tell you.
This is what I think you should do. The first thing you need to do is you need to realize that your mind, your heart, and your soul communicate in your body. There are certain kinds of feelings that you receive, whether it's visceral, whether it's excitement, whatever, when you encounter things that you like and you don't like.
I want you for the next month or the next week to just notice when you like something, how your body reacts. When you don't like something, how your body reacts. And note that as your guide. If you are working a job that you feel you do not like and you know that there are things in this job you do not like, do not look at it as, I'm cooked. This sucks. I'm cooked.
Look at it as, okay, I'm recording information. I'm working at this Cabo Bob's. I hate it. I don't like serving people. I don't like doing all this stuff. I don't like cooking. But I get really excited when I get to work the cash register and I get to recommend somebody a salsa or a queso. I do really like that part. It's weird. I don't know why, but I do really like that. Good.
Take note of that. There is something there. You don't know what it is. I understand that because most of us don't. But there is something there because you like to do that thing. There is something that ignites a certain level of focus and a certain level of passion when you do that thing. And that is important.
The reason that we note that thing is because there's a good chance that your gift or the thing that you can do and repeat at scale that will make you feel less lost is in that. Now it is your job to go into that thing, to try your best to do that thing as much as possible. And if right now you're like, Zerk, I don't have anything that I like.
If you really dislike your job or your school or whatever that much, find a way to change it. Some of us are locked into jobs. I get that. Some of us cannot make a pivot that quickly. But the amount of freedom you will get from just starting to research or starting to see or talk to people or be like, what is it like being an air traffic controller? What is it like being a jeweler?
Yeah, I work as an insurance broker right now, but what if I did do jewelry full-time? What would that look like? The more that you allow yourself to think and actually entertain certain ideas, the more you will get excited about potentially changing and trying those things.
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