Zurkie

What you had control over and what you should carry into whatever next relationship you're going into is knowing where to set the boundaries and knowing what you can help and what you can't.

Because what happens is a lot of us become a therapist in our relationships.

We don't become a partner.

And instead of being someone that's treated equally, we just become the soundboard for everyone else's issues.

We become someone that's overlooked.

We see the questions of how we're doing and what we're interested in and what we want less and less.

And we begin to shift our entire personality and mold it into being a receptacle for emotions, for self-worth, for anger.

for a lack of trust.

And then you kind of become accustomed to this dynamic where somebody is pouring into you, but instead of pouring into you things that are good and uplifting you, they're actually draining your energy and they're taking more.

And what ends up happening is you feel like your entire existence in a relationship is to just be

a backdrop for somebody else's failing play.

And so that's your role.

You let somebody do their dance.

You kind of watch, you observe, you try to give, you know, reasonable evidence.

Hey, you should think about doing this differently.

You hate your job, your retail job.

Maybe you should think about doing something different.

And every time that you try to give some kind of piece of advice, it gets shut down and it will, it will.

again I don't think the focus is in the right place and I think that you feel chained to this person and you feel like because you've sunk in so much time because you guys were intimate at one point that that will forever stay the same but again relationships change people change oh I should have known they were going to be like this again why would you fault yourself you had no idea

When do you give up on someone?