A Court of Tattoos and Rosé

Special Episode - HOFAS - Barbossa Style

28 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

T-Minus 30 Hours! You know what that means. It is time for our HOFAS predictions episode! This week I am joined by the lovely Danelle (@queerlygayotic...

Surprise Episode - HOFAS Teaser Deep Dive

17 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Tuesday! I know it’s been almost a week since that HOFAS teaser dropped but I am still spiraling about it! So I figured what better way to cop...

EP 8 - HOEAB - True Crime Fiction (CH 14-15)

14 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week starts out with a delightful visit with the Autumn King where we get to see him belittle our beloved Ruhn. In between the jabs, there are qu...

(Not) HOEAB - Teen Mom

07 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

While Blake was away, Mads and Caitlyn decided to rage and do whatever they wanted. Blake is nervous and very scared for what chaos unfolded this week...

Thirsty Thursday - Hop, Hop! Pop, Pop!

04 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Prepare for the mayhem that is me (Blake) recording solo to go on a deep dive into the SJM Universe that takes some minor detours into other dives. Th...

EP 7 - HOEAB - Watson! (CH 11-13)

28 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

So Micah, the Governor of Valbara, is just casually chilling in the gallery and blatantly ogling Bryce. We don’t blame him really but he is a psycho...

Thirsty Thursday - The Government

21 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We wrap up our 2023 reading and dish about our favorite reads of the year! Also, Blake learns that Mads either tunes her out often or is just slightly...

EP 6 - HOEAB - Curate (CH 9-10)

17 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After a rough night out dealing with a creepy vamp, Bryce’s week doesn’t get much better. Honestly, it gets way worse very quickly. We also learn ...

EP 5 - HOEAB - 7 Hours (CH 7-8)

10 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

How are we all feeling after last week’s episode? Full disclosure: we are still recovering. Bryce has yet another terrifying encounter that just get...

EP 4 - HOEAB - PAIN (CH 5-6)

03 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The ruse was successful! Join me as I drag Caitlyn through some of the worst trauma that SJM has ever dealt to us. We’re not crying, you are! But se...

Thirsty Thursday - Howard Shore

30 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It is one of our favorite times of the year! Spotify Wrapped season is upon us! Mads and I are once again flabbergasted at the stats from this little ...

EP 3 - HOEAB - Connor... (CH 4)

19 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After leaving Danika with the Pack, Bryce heads to a swanky restaurant only to be ignored by her date. Reid, you are simply the worst. The power strug...

EP 2 - HOEAB - Hall of Antiquities (CH 1-3)

12 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to the world of Crescent City! Danika comes into Bryce’s work smelling horrendous and gives some not so great news. Jesiba threatens to turn...

Thirsty Thursday - HoF (CH 16-20)

09 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We told the people that we would do another Heir of Fire episode and we are women of the people! So without further ado, we are back with Aelin, Manon...

EP 1 - HOEAB - CC 101

05 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The day has arrived! We are finally diving into the Crescent City series! I am literally shaking with excitement as I type this because ya’ll know I...

Mads Doing Mad Things

29 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Blake is away, so Mads just read smut. So if you want that, go ahead and listen. 😂

Thirsty Thursday - Author Spotlight Episode - JA George

27 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Mads got a chance to interview JA George (@pnwwritingwitch) about her new release, Gothic Grove. Gothic Grove is a witch/vampire romance with revenge ...

EP 145 - ACOSF - Can Fae Go Noseblind (ACOSF Bonus Chapters)

22 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Are you ready to dive into the infamous bonus chapters for ACOSF? Don’t worry, we aren’t alone in this! Caitlyn is here and she isn’t holding ba...

EP 144 - ACOSF - Don't Touch the Baby (CH 79-80)

15 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well we have arrived at the end of A Court of Silver Flames. I still can’t quite believe we’ve made it this far. After the craziness of Nyx’s bi...

Thirsty Thursday - Ep???

12 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well surprise, surprise, I messed up some dates again…Anywho! Join us as we breakdown the intrigue and hype surrounding the mysterious Red Tower boo...

EP 143 - SJM Interview Recap - She Dead

01 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Join us for a chaotically fun recap of SJM’s interview from September 26th with Christina Lauren! She laid down some hard truths, including one that...

Thirsty Thursday - 5 But Make It 1

29 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The patrons have spoken and we get to gush over our favorite recent 5 star reads! But wait! Of course, there is a catch because they love to mess with...

EP 142 - ACOSF - Pocket Biscuit (CH 78)

24 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After the collective trauma of Nyx’s arrival, the Valkyries have a heartfelt reunion over tea. Cassian is coming to terms with the fact that his mat...

Thirsty Thursday - Our PNR Loves

14 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve declared that Spooky Season is upon us! Let’s kick off the best season by talking about all our favorite supernatural creatures and beings! ...

EP 141 - ACOSF - Madja Sucks (CH 76-77)

10 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve arrived at the scene that will forever live in infamy for Mads and I. We’ve got so many questions and a lot of grievances. One big question:...

EP 140 - ACOSF - Alternatives (CH 75)

03 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We are approaching THAT scene. You know the one. The one that will forever irk us. Good thing we’ve got one teeny tiny chapter before we hit that po...

Thirsty Thursday - HoF (CH 11-15)

31 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time to hop back into Mads’ favorite book in the Throne of Glass series, Heir of Fire! First things first though. We have a mystery on our ha...

EP 139 - ACOSF - Change of Pace (CH 74)

27 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Mads and Blake coming in hot with a big tip for villains: STOP WITH THE MONOLOGUES! In this case, Briallyn’s incessant need to hear her own voice co...

EP 138 - ACOSF - Blake Hates Mads (CH 72-73)

20 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Emerie and Gwyn have made it to the top, which is great. Yay. We are very happy for them, truly. HOWEVER, Nesta has not made it to the top yet. In fac...

Thirsty Thursday - The Delivery

17 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Hi! It’s been a hot minute and we’ve missed you! Now prepare for a good ole classic Shoot the $hit with Mads and I. We chat about some of the late...

EP 137 - ACOSF - Dumb and Dumber (CH 70 -71)

06 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Cassian and Azriel’s missteps have lead them into a bit of a pickle with a Death God and a Crone. The big issue is there a Made dagger up for grabs ...

Thirsty Thursday - SJM Characters’ “Hobbies”

03 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Mads and I are back at it again with lots of theories…on every SJM character’s favorite “hobby” in the bedroom. We’re debating how into they...

EP 136 - ACOSF - I’m Annoyed (CH 69)

31 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Valkyries are battling everyone and everything at the moment: the Breaking on Ramiel, bloodthirsty Illyrians, Gwyn’s own injury and the brutal c...

EP 135 - ACOSF (not really) - Mads Wins

23 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The time has finally come. The cover for House of Flame and Shadow has been released and the (obnoxious) number of editions have been announced! Now s...

Thirsty Thursday - Author Spotlight - Lark Taylor

20 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We can’t keep calm right now because the amazing @larktaylorauthor joined us this week for another Author Spotlight episode! She shares all the juic...

EP 134 - ACOSF - Brooklyn 69 (CH 68)

16 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Valkyries are back together finally! Now it is a race to Ramiel and out of the Blood Rite. During the journey, Emerie shares an Illyrian tale abou...

EP 133 - ACOSF - DEEP Diving!

09 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

So after my breakdown of Gwyn’s suspicious behavior and Maddie’s unsettling questions about the “big bad” in the SJM universe, we’ve been bo...

Thirsty Thursday - Rock, Paper, Scissor, FIRE!

06 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Are you ready for a lot? Like A LOT. We are joined by the lovely @queerlygayoticreader aka Danelle for a super stressful game of “Would You Rather”...

EP 132 - ACOSF - So, About Gwyn... (CH 67)

25 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Nesta and Emerie are fighting to get to Gwyn amongst the brutal Illyrian winter. They come across a camp full of disgusting males using her nightgown ...

Thirsty Thursday - HoF (CH 1-10)

22 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You asked for it and we are here to give it to you! Dive back into the Throne of Glass world with Mads and I as we breakdown the first 10 chapters of ...

EP 131 - ACOSF - Philip Nick (CH 66)

18 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Nesta is a woman on a mission and we feel exceedingly sorry (not really) for any male who gets in her way. That is until we meet Philip. No, Nick! No,...

EP 130 - ACOSF - Air Tagged (CH 64-65)

11 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Welp…Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn are in the Blood Rite….and on completely separate sides of Ramiel. What could make it worse? Oh right, someone is leav...

Thirsty Thursday - R.I.T.

08 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Would you ever have guessed that Mads and Blake would do an entire episode just on Elain theories? To be honest, we didn’t see this one coming eithe...

EP 129 - ACOSF - The Night Court (CH 62-63)

04 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Spring has sprung in Prythian and the Inner Circle’s enemies have been eerily quiet. Nesta and Cassian go on a date…to see Eris. After a brief his...

PSA - Protect Transgender Rights

28 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Everyone should have the right to be themselves and all that that includes. Absolutely NO ONE should be telling you who you are supposed to be. That i...

Thirsty Thursday - Mads Lied

25 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week we are back in the Throne of Glass world! Join us as we discuss Queen of Shadows and Madison’s unforgivable betrayal. Between all the sche...

EP 128 - ACOSF - In Front of Everyone (CH 60-61)

14 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Valkyries are back! Their first task? Conquer the mysteriously violent obstacle course that Cassian and Azriel set for them daily. Along the way, ...

Thirsty Thursday - Book Girlfriends!

11 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The patrons picked the absolute best topic for this week’s episode! Join us as we fangirl over our favorite strong and gorgeous book girlfriends! We...

EP 127 - ACOSF - Ghosted His Mate (CH 59-60ish)

07 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well, I (Blake) was sadly unable to make this recording…but honestly I think it was for the best cause ya’ll are in for a treat! ... So, we did AC...

EP 126 - ACOSF - Mads' Elain Shrine? (CH 58)

30 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time for the Inner Circle’s annual Winter Solstice party! Nesta’s goal for this year’s party is simple…be better than last year. That’...

Thirsty Thursday - Jiggly Mario!

27 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The patrons have voted and we are talking triggers! Keep in mind that trigger warnings are vital and should always be read! Now let’s chat about the...

EP 125 - ACOSF - RIP Jeeves

23 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Yet another Winter Solstice is upon us and the Court of Nightmares is decked out for the occasion. After Feyre makes a stunning debut, the rest of the...

EP 125 - ACOSF - BONUS - FMK

16 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Are you curious about what our bonus Patreon episodes are like? Good news! This week we are dropping our hilariously chaotic episode with @Danelle_eri...

Thirsty Thursday - What is Flounder?

14 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We interrupt our Spring Break to answer the ultimate question: what are our favorite Disney movies? We chat about our favorite princesses, best animal...

EP 124 - ACOSF - A Piece of Cloth (CH 56)

02 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It’s been a month of Valkyrie training, dance lessons with Mor and lots of fun times with Cassian. Needless to say, Nesta is in absolutely amazing s...

Thirsty Thursday - Underrated

30 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back this week to discuss some of the most underrated authors in the reading community! These authors are all truly amazing and deserve all th...

EP 123 - ACOSF - Magic Shell (CH 55)

26 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After a rather nasty trip to the Prison, Nesta, Cassian, Feyre and Rhys have a little debriefing that raises a lot of questions. We learn of the Dagla...

EP 122 - ACOSF - Flame and Shadow

19 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well our plans for this week’s episode got a teensy bit sidetracked. Can you guess why? Of course you can! SJM has announced the title for the next ...

Thirsty Thursday - Intro to Dark Romance

16 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Want to dip your toes into the world of dark romance? Don’t know where to begin your journey? Look no further! We have got you covered with a wide a...

EP 121 - ACOSF - Dora's Backpack (CH 54)

12 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well the Harp royally screwed Nesta and Cassian over. It opened the doorway for Nesta but it also opened a single cell…that happened to belong to La...

EP 3 - Self-Care Sundays - Representation Matters

05 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to our mental health series where we share our own struggles, discuss coping techniques, and above all else, provide a reminder for every...

Thirsty Thursday - Reading 1 Star Reviews

02 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We are thirsty for the tea this week as Mads and Gena comb through 1 star reviews on some popular reads in the bookish world! From Crescent City to Se...

EP 120 - ACOSF - Multiverse of Maasness (CH 53)

27 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Cassian and Nesta need to work on their field trip locations. This time they are at the Prison to collect the creepy Harp. A prison that is full of de...

Bonus Episode - Author Spotlight Episode - Carly Spade Take Two!

19 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Join us this week for a very special author spotlight episode! The fabulous @authorcarlyspade is back to talk about the upcoming release of Of Love ...

Thirsty Thursday - Shoutout to Lisa

16 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The people have spoken again! This week is all about book to TV/film adaptations. We chat about the good, the bad, and the downright horrendous (i.e.,...

EP 119 - ACOSF - Why Does It Rhyme with Flute? (CH 51-52)

12 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Nesta is back at training and her friends have a lot of questions. Luckily their questioning is cut short when Gwyn introduces a new obsession for the...

EP 118 - ACOSF - Grill the Cheese! (CH 48-50)

05 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Nesta and Cassian continue their never-ending hike in the mountains. They share some meals that have Mads losing her mind. Nesta is still dealing with...

Thirsty Thursday - Mind Speak Adjacent

02 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The people have spoken! Join us for a deep dive into Heir of Fire! Fair warning, this episode contains spoilers for the entire Throne of Glass series....

EP 117 - ACOSF - Everybody Makes Mistakes (CH 45-47)

29 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Oof…buckle up for a very bumpy ride in today’s episode as a couple secrets come to light in the WORST ways possible. Nesta finds out about her new...

EP 116 - ACOSF - So Many Theories (CH 43-44)

22 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Cassian and Nesta take a quick trip to the Spring Court to meet with Eris. The silent killer (i.e. pollen) comes for Cassian. The chat with Eris is te...

Thirsty Thursday - Caitlyn Has A Squirrel!

19 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Join us for our first Thirsty Thursday episode! Our lovely Patreon community voted and….we had a tie. Of course our first episode topic vote would e...

EP 115 - ACOSF - Do You Push It? (CH 41-42)

15 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After getting a lot more information than he bargained for, Helion creates extensive wards around the Mask and ties them to Nesta’s blood. Feyre giv...

EP 114 - ACOSF - Blue Canvas (CH 40 -41)

08 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

And we are back! Cassian takes Nesta to visit with a blacksmith so she can appreciate the true artistry and skill of sword making. Nesta pours her hea...

EP 43 - COM - Feather vs. Watermelon

05 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We have quite a few updates to share with y’all! We are doing a full reconstruction of how the podcast will operate starting with today’s episode!...

EP 113 - ACOSF - Chocolate Balls (CH 40)

26 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week we start out on a field trip to the swordsmith with Cassian and Nesta…and that is as far as we got before the chaos began. Enjoy this madn...

EP 2 - Self Care Sundays (Holiday Edition)

18 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to our mental health series where we share our own struggles, discuss coping techniques and, above all else, provide a reminder for every...

EP 42 - COM - Arya Vibes (CH 33-34)

15 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We get a heartbreaking reminder of the hope Nehemia inspired in her people through the eyes of a young girl from Ellywe deep in the mines. Upon hearin...

EP 112 - ACOSF - Tracking Caitlyn (CH 38-39)

11 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Emerie and Gwyn are much more interested in Nesta’s nighttime activities than stretching. After giving Nesta a hard time (that Cassian for sure over...

EP 101 - ACOSF - SJM = T. Swift (CH 37)

04 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

After the horrific ordeal in Oorid, Nesta is supposedly resting while the rest of the gang is spending quality time with the Autumn Court solider zomb...

EP 41 - COM - Remember Her? (CH 30-32)

01 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sadly it turns out Archer was right. Celaena is too late. Her nighttime sprint through the city wasn’t fast enough. Her friend has been taken from h...

EP 110 - ACOSF - None for Gretchen Wieners (CH 35-36)

27 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Nesta is in a fight for her life as the nightmarish Kelpie drags her to the bottom of the Oorid. This scene is truly one of the most unsettling in the...

EP 109 - ACOSF - STAY IN THE TREE (CH 32-34)

21 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Cass, Az and Nesta take a nice little trip to Oorid in the Middle. Not really actually. To say it’s a hostile environment would be an understatement...

EP 108 - ACOSF - Illyrian Wombs (CH 30-31)

13 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Nesta recalls her troubling nightmare and opens up to Emerie and Gwyn about her trauma. Meanwhile, Cassian checks in with Rhys only to find out that h...

EP 40 - COM - Princess of Genovia (CH 28-29)

10 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Chaol’s kidnappers face the very scary consequences of their actions, aka Celaena! The group quickly realizes their mistake after a dramatic entranc...

EP 1 - Self Care Sundays

06 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Join us for the first episode in a new series where we are fighting back against the stigma surrounding mental health. Ya’ll know we hold nothing ba...

EP 107 - ACOSF - Boston Creme Doughnut (CH 29)

30 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

After seeing the new trainees’ bravery in action, Nesta attempts scrying again. To say it goes poorly would be an understatement. Nesta’s snooping...

EP 39 - COM - Coal Mining (CH 25-27)

26 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Join us today as we tackle THREE chapters. Crazy, right? Anywho, Nehemia and Elena have a super secret meeting ending with Nehemia making some type of...

EP 106 - ACOSF - Mattress Firm Conspiracy (CH 29)

23 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Nesta makes it to 3000 steps before throwing in the towel and our hamstrings are on fire just thinking about it. The Valkyrie Book Club is off to a gr...

EP 105 - ACOSF - Turbo! (CH 27-28)

16 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Nesta is having some trouble focusing on training but luckily Gwyn makes for a good buffer. After gathering some gifts (or bribes) for Emerie, Nesta s...

EP 38 - COM - I'm Hungry (CH 23-24)

12 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Chaol takes Celaena’s confession about as well as we all expected, i.e. not well. He does warm up to the idea eventually and his birthday ends on a ...

Bonus Episode - Hold Me Under

09 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Join us for a very special collaboration with Bookmates Pod as we discuss the absolutely breathtaking debut novel from Riley Nash - Hold Me Under. Thi...

EP 104 - ACOSF - Scooby Doo, Where Are You??? (CH 25-26)

02 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve got first day of school vibes today as Gwyn joins Nesta and Cassian for training. She is a quick study and crushes the workout…even in her h...

EP 37 - COM - The Dark Knight (CH 21-22)

28 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Celaena takes a day trip to honor the memory of her parents. While out in the wilderness, we get a pretty gruesome reminder of her time in Endovier an...

EP 103 - ACOSF - Never Forgive, Never Forget (CH 23-24)

25 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Cassian needs a distraction at training after his spicy nighttime visit with Nesta. What better distraction than sparring with Az…while shirtless! N...

EP 102 - ACOSF - Off Her Gourd (CH 21-22)

18 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

After Elain speaks up to volunteer to find the Dread Trove, a big secret is revealed! The Inner Circle is expanding and we are all a bit confused. Cas...

EP 36 - COM - Baba Nope (CH 19-20)

14 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Chaol has an odd briefing with the King during which he is told about a mysterious threat to Nehemia but given no details. Meanwhile, Dorian is still ...

EP 101 - ACOSF - SJM Yankee Candles (CH 18-20)

11 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Nesta is battling her (im)mortal enemy yet again…the stairs! She gets to 1,000 this time which is pretty impressive to us. As always, Cass is waitin...

EP 100 - ACOSF - 100! (CH 16-17)

05 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Join us for our 100th ACOTAR episode! Full disclosure, we are still in awe that ya'll have stuck with us this long. We take a trip down memory lane an...

EP 35 - COM - And COM is Back (CH 17-18)

31 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

After a hot minute away, we are back with a COM episode where we discuss steamy eye contact, gas lighters, and dancing. The tension in the air is clim...

BONUS EPISODE - AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT EPISODE - CE Ricci

21 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Get hyped everyone! This week we are joined by none other than the CE Ricci (@authorcericci)! To make it even better, Gena (@breathlessbooks) joined u...