617: An Incredibly Dangerous App
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I just barely made it here. I had to rush, pair all the socks and the laundry before I came in here.
I thought you were going to say you had to rush home from Manhattan. You know, you're living the fancy lad life or something like that. Nope. Just imagine socks.
On the bed was a whole bunch of unsorted socks. And, you know, usually, as I've discussed in the show, my roles in the household are kitchen dog, wires, and puke. And Tiff is soft things, plants, school, and fun. Now, soft things would typically be her purview. So she does all the laundry. However, there are occasional exceptions that poke holes in those boundaries for... Because one person really hates something or doesn't mind something. And one of the things is that Tiff does all the laundry but really hates pairing socks. So that is my job. And so I wanted to hurry up.
You can't do that in a hurry, though. If you do it in a hurry, you're not going to match them up right.
You underestimate my skill, John.
No, I think you underestimate the amount of stuff I think is involved in matching socks.
I think you both underestimate the sneaky, sir. And that's a reference that I bet John didn't even get. No. What now? What now? All right. We'll see if ATP references gets it.
Yeah, no. I mean, so the thing about matching socks is it's not so much just finding the sock that is the same sock as that one. They go in pairs in terms of wear and age, you know what I mean? And right and left. So you really want to pair the ones that have always been together to be back together. Even if you have, you know, 16 of the same socks that came in a pack when you bought them all, you can't just match them up willy-nilly with their other socks when they come out. They have to go back with their partner.
See, I solved this in a different way.
You only buy two of a sock ever.
Yeah. Well, so that's OK. Yeah. So one of them. Yes. One of them is my favorite socks are from former sponsor Marine Layer. And they they're one of those things where, like, you know, they'll have like five pairs of socks in stock at any given time. And they just rotate out all the time. So you kind of have to buy them if you see them, if you like them. And so as a result, I have all sorts of different socks from Marine Layer. And I try never to buy two of the same pair. So I actually don't have two identical sets of the same socks except for the summer short socks, which is just like some big Adidas bulk pack of ankle socks I bought. So far, those are just so interchangeable that it doesn't really matter. They're just all a bunch of gray socks.
That's what I'm saying. You're not as discerning. You're like, oh, you've seen one Adidas athletic sock. You've seen them all. They can go with any of them. But no, there are pairs.
There aren't, not for those. But the other thing is what really dramatically shrinks the time for any kind of laundry folding, especially with socks, is I used to do the service to my family of turning them all the right way as part of this process.
Is that a service? That's just called folding laundry. Are you putting socks in your drawer inside out?
Well, if you ball the socks up, it kind of doesn't matter whether they're inside or not. And so I've decided that when I remove my clothing, not to get TMI listeners, but when I remove my clothing, I leave it in the laundry. The right side in or out or whatever. So my laundry does not have to be turned back because I am conscientious on the way into the machine. So I say so all my laundry comes out for the most part the right way. So my socks are all the right way. And the rest of my family's socks, I just fold them exactly the way they left them.
A, that's spiteful. And B, if you put them into the washing machine inside out and they have crap on them, the crap is going to stay stuck inside the socks. Like, if you get a bunch of, like, little, you know... little bits of leave or wood chips or whatever stuck to the bottom of your sock and you take it off inside out and it goes in the washing machine, that stuff's not coming out.
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