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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome to Corolla Classics. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fans like the clips from all 17 years of The Adam Corolla Show. If you'd like to get access to the full archives of The Adam Corolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, as well as the podcast Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's sub stack, adamcorolla.substack.com.
Sign up and listen ad-free. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classicsatadamcorolla.com. Note, we cannot play any Loveline content, nor any content from the KLSX Adam Carolla Show from 2006 to 2009. I currently do remaster both of those shows. For more information, please check out my Patreon, patreon.com slash Giovanni. Now on to the clips.
Coming up first today, we have Adam Carolla Show 1394. This episode's from 2014, featuring Josh Wolfe, Matt Atchity, some Rotten Tomatoes game, along with Alison Rosen and Brian Bishop. Hope you guys enjoy.
At first, I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light, and I was transported to another place. Pluto TV! Then I heard a voice.
Come with me if you want to live.
There were thousands of movies and shows, and they were all free! The truth is ours. It's just so beautiful!
On Pluto TV, free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe, Arrow, The 100, and The X-Files. May cause excitement, loss of sleep, and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never.
Good day, Matt Atchity. Hello. Yeah, that didn't work. I don't think it did. Good day, Allison Rosen.
Hello, Adam Carolla. Look, you guys threw me off.
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Chapter 2: What are the challenges of recycling in different cities?
All you do, what you do is you put your radar detector on your car. You have to spend $400, so you won't have to spend $400 on a ticket. And then you drive, staring at the radar detector. And at a certain point, when we were going down the 5 on our way to Northern California, all these guys came from, like, the Italian Stampede. It's a bunch of guys. I know it sounds like a gay review. Sex move.
In Laughlin. But... It's all these guys driving Lamborghini, Murcielagos and Countaches and Ferraris. It's a bunch of dudes driving $300,000 cars. They put a little sticker on the door and they make their run from L.A. to Monterey for the car weekend.
They're not doing anything crazy, but when a stretch of highway opens up a little bit and you're driving a $600,000 supercar with a bunch of other dudes, you tend to put your foot into it a little bit. And these guys were just kind of ā there's a picture of it. It's all Italian cars. And they just go from, I'm guessing, San Diego, L.A., and they just make the pilgrimage to Monterey.
The CHP looked at these guys like fucking bears look at salmon in a river. They're just like, oh, this is going to be awesome. And they were just pulling these guys over one after the other. We had our fuzzbusters. I'm guessing they did too. They didn't do anything dangerous.
What they would do is a little patch would open up and you could hear them put their foot into it and then slow down almost immediately. Yes, Chris? Yeah, there was too much traffic for them to do anything too crazy. They were just going a little bit faster. Right.
But it's a bunch of guys who probably don't pay in 10 years in taxes what these guys pay in fucking 10 minutes in taxes, pulling them over and giving them chicken shit tickets. And by the way, just the tax that they paid in California on their $300,000 car, not to mention a gas guzzler and whatever it is.
And look, I know everyone does that thing where they go, oh, Adam, why should we feel sorry for these guys? Don't feel sorry for them. Why are we hassling them? Why are we hassling the guys in the super fucking expensive cars who pay for all of our fucking schools and parks? Why are we fucking hassling them?
I think it's a badge of honor. I hear amongst cops, if you bag a celebrity, you know what I mean? If you catch a celebrity drunk driving or something, or give them a ticket. Yes.
It's a bunch of fucking guys who do nothing but pay into the system, and what they did is they sold their first business, and they got rid of their first wife, and now it's time to reward themselves with a supercar. Sold their first wife. And they sold their first wife, and they got themselves a Countach or a Murcielago or an Aventador, whatever they're driving it.
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Chapter 3: How do personal experiences shape views on societal issues?
Don't skimp, people. First 100 people, by the way, are going to get a set of really nice 618 thread count sheets worth $300. That's 888-888-5990. All right. So on the back of this slate. That was the part I was staring at where they hold it right in front of you and they snap it and then they pull it away and then you go, I'm Adam Carolla.
Spike has a new app and blah, blah, blah and high energy and make with the funny and this and the other. It says, RIP Sarah Jones. Sarah Jones, you'll never be forgotten.
That's on a lot of slates these days.
Is it?
I've seen pictures on, I don't know if it's Instagram or where I've seen it, or if I've actually seen one, but I think that's a common slate sadness now.
There's a part of me that's like, nice. There's another part of me that's like, there's a lot of dead people out there, and if they're all represented on this slate, I'd fucking kill myself before I then spat out the comedy, which is coming seconds after your... This is the last thing I will see.
The last thing she saw was a commuter train, and the last thing I see is her name before I do my comedy. It's just a little weird with the RIP, right?
They should just use that when they're shooting drama. Yeah.
When they're shooting a tearjerker scene. Like, it's that scene from Grey's Anatomy where I'm going to have to go in and explain to the family that their nine-year-old is not going to see a tenth birthday, then pull that slate out, but not with the mirth.
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Chapter 4: What humorous situation arises involving ants?
But passionate. That's right. And then that embarrassing moment at the end where I go, listen, we're short four ants, so could you just kind of hop up and down on this sheet?
Yeah.
We need them for the next house. They're actually my best aunts. Yeah. So we didn't need those back. Yeah. Ted and Larry Jr. are both missing. And those are kind of the kind of... The leaders. I wouldn't call them the team captains. I don't want to make the other aunts jealous. But they certainly do kind of rule the roost, so to speak.
Chapter 5: How do the hosts react to a cheating story?
So I don't know if they're up your asshole or in your wife's cunt. But... But if you wouldn't mind squatting and coughing, we just need to see... There's a reason we take a deposit. Wow, fire ants. Yeah, it's not great. It's a good story. I mean, better for me. She was eaten up. I spoke to a gal once who I never dated, but she explained that her boyfriend found out she was cheating.
And the way he found out she was cheating is he found... A piece of a rubber in her coos. And he did not use one. That's gotta be... And by the way... That is so many levels of unclassy. When you... And when you're the person who gets caught...
You got, you know, if somebody gets into your phone and starts looking at your text messages, you probably buy yourself a little bit of time to try to explain away some of the shit that it says on there. But when you're just about to have sex or the guy's going down or whatever, and he basically pulls half a condom out of you.
Chapter 6: What insights are shared about race and stereotypes during a play?
You don't have much time to concoct a story. There's not, let me get back to you on that one.
What's your best, if that was, what do you think the best reaction to that is? I mean, the only thing I can think of is, that's been in there a while.
I ate it seven years ago.
That's from high school. No, that's been in there a while. That was before you. My gynecologist says it's not covered on insurance. I keep telling him about toxic shock syndrome. He doesn't listen. How about this one? I'd leave one in there just in case. That's right. Somebody shows up without one. I chamber one. Yeah. In case I'm raped while I'm jogging. I don't want to get AIDS.
Hey, you put a fucking liner in your trash can.
Do you not? That's what I'm saying.
Answer the question. Leave one in there just in case. That's right. No, I would probably say I was using a vibrator. I was thinking of you, and I had a yeast infection or something, and I didn't want to spread it. I don't know. I'm not a gynecologist. Is that legit? I barely have a pussy. That sounds like that.
The point is, is your fucking 22-year-old meathead of a fucking boyfriend who plays J.C. Ball is not going to fucking know about that, and would probably use it as a viable excuse.
If you said that and I was 22, I would be like, oh, okay. That makes complete sense to me because I don't know what any of it means at 22. When they do vaginal ultrasounds, they actually put a condom on the wand that they use.
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Chapter 7: What controversial statement did a 13-year-old girl make on the Today Show?
Thank. I'd like to fuck your wife. Thank you. Send. Send. Hit send.
Speaking of things you shouldn't have said, a 13-year-old girl went on the Today Show and said the C word twice. Really? Yeah. It's pretty awesome.
I'm going to play it for you in a moment. This gal, Kayla Manson, was accused as an accomplice after her boyfriend allegedly attempted to murder her best friend.
Oh, now is this one of those things because when you ask stupid people, what did he say to you?
Yes.
They go, I'm going to kill you, you cunt.
Yes. This is exactly that.
Oh, because dumb people and kids can't filter.
Right.
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Chapter 8: How do societal norms influence the language we use?
It makes for a fun conversation. It's a good time.
You know, so old people go the other way with cursing. They're like, they overcompensate for words that aren't really that bad. They're like, and then I told, they told me, hey, you son of a, you know what?
Right, yeah. I told him I was going to, well, I told him he could go to H-E double hockey sticks. Yeah, and then there's the out of it old guy where they go, well, he called me up. Well, can you say son of a bitch? I like that.
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. Fuck yeah you can.
Meredith Vieira, by the way, I thought she handled it well, but in retrospect, perhaps she could have predicted that when she asked this question, this 13-year-old girl would have dropped a couple C-bombs.
Yeah. Well, let's hear it. Let's hear it.
Can we go back to March 17th, that day that those text messages were exchanged between Josie and Wayne? You were in school with Josie. You heard about the texts? You saw them?
I only saw two.
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