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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 17 years of The Adam Corolla Show. If you'd like to hear any of the full episodes played today, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's sub-stack, adamcorolla.substack.com.
There you'll gain access to the full archives of The Adam Corolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, as well as the podcast, Beat It Out. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classics at adamcorolla.com. Now, we can play everything in this feed from The Adam Corolla Show, all almost 4,200 episodes, original episodes.
Chapter 2: What are the highlights of the Adam Carolla Show?
We can't play anything from the Loveline Days or from the KLSX Adam Carolla Show, which ran from January of 2006 through February of 2009. 715 episodes. So if you're writing in to request those clips, we can't play them. I have been restoring both of those archives for decades now. If you want to check out my work, patreon.com slash Giovanni. All right, let's get to the clips.
Coming up first, we have Adam Carolla Show 1772 with the Deaf Rat Guy, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop. This one's from 2016. DFG in studio, hell yeah.
Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you. And Paul Bryan. Privileged buttholes. That's what you missed, Gina. I didn't miss it.
In fact, I heard it and it was fantastic.
How are you feeling?
So much better. So sorry. That's all right. You knocked me on my ass.
That's all right. Funny that you fell backward. usually i figure if you just went out yeah you're right i was wrong um so uh you're back at some point we'll discuss your brother to the extent that you want to discuss your brother just because he's a moving pinball machine as i found him a lot of lots of tats he's like a chill dude he's a great guy very nice guy Yes.
Big fan.
I don't know how he got from where you were, you know, Kansas, humble Jews in Kansas to this. Without getting caught on something. Is that what you're saying? No, but I'm starting to put... I don't know. I mean, my theory is it's weird because I grew up in L.A., so there was never any... I never had to break free of anything. You know what I mean? I didn't have to escape anything.
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Chapter 3: What insights are shared about personal backgrounds?
You were rebelling against a curtain.
I literally lived my entire life I've spent in a... If you just took the average distance that I lived from the houses I grew up in, and my grandparents' house, and my dad's house, and then my mom's house, my grandmother's second house, and blah, blah, blah.
My average first apartment was sort of down the street, then a rental house across the street, then rented a room up in Lowerwood Hills, and at a certain point bought a house up on Hollywoodland. The average... Distance I've lived from where I grew up is like 3.7 miles. That's so crazy.
Even now.
Even now. I mean, if you just took the, sometimes I was two miles or two blocks from my house. Sometimes I was seven miles or 11 miles. But the average would be within five miles of everywhere I walked, everywhere I grew up, everything I did on my bicycle. Like, it's weird.
Before you moved to where you are now, how many zip codes, area codes did you have? You're probably in the same, you're probably in 818 the entire time.
Yeah, pretty much. I mean, once I got over on top of the hill, it probably changed, but I didn't even know my home phone number anyway. All right. But he is tatted from his chin to his fingernails, front and back of the body. Some lovely ladies on one arm.
I think there's a man's Chinese theater somewhere. Yeah, he's artistic.
Man's Chinese theater? Yeah. That begs the follow-up question, which I'm not going to ask. Okay, what's his favorite movie? What's the man's Chinese theater?
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Chapter 4: Why do people resist being moved along in conversations?
There's a weird human instinct, which is when you try to move people along, they... Dig in. They dig it in. It's a weird... Like, I had the thing last night where the drunken people had to come over and say hi. Sure. And it was just sort of this... One point where I don't know how you do it, but like they come up to you and they go, hey, man.
Hey, used to listen to you do Mr. Bertram back in the day on K-Rock. I always I hear you call into Kevin and Bean once in a while. But also when I hear other characters calling in, sometimes I think you're doing one of those characters. Are you doing one of those characters? No, I'm not. I call in as me, you know, Adam Carolla, but I don't do any characters. So that wouldn't be me.
So it's not you? No, I just call in as me. You're not doing any characters at all? No, it's just me. I call in as me, you know, maybe every other week or something like that. But as far as the characters, I don't know who's doing those voices. So nothing at all with the characters. And at a certain point, we did 17 laughs, and I just went... I don't know how else to answer this question.
I started just looking the other direction and going like, I realized the guy had a buzz on and he, he wanted to be chatty, but it's like, I don't know how I said to him, like, I don't, I cannot as previously stated. No. And I cannot answer this. I do not know any more ways to answer this question that you've managed to come at me with now 13 times. But it's weird. Like when you say to people,
Like, I've done it in interviews where I've gone like, hey, listen, I'm sorry, but I'm pulling up to this set to catch a contract, and I really got to wrap this up. I know, I know, everybody asks you questions, and I know about your times. I go, last question. Just ask the last question, please. What is that? You're on the clock. Weird.
I know everybody, maybe it's this, when you're a kid and as an adult,
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Chapter 5: What are the challenges of public speaking and how do they manifest?
I could remember having a loose tooth as a kid, and it kind of hurt, and you'd have to keep flicking it with your tongue. Are we doing a sort of conversational version of this where you, like, say to someone, look, I need to wrap this up. I need to, okay, hold on. I know. Before we let you go. Why not just sort of hear what the person is doing or see them leaning toward the front door?
The shop clock is expiring.
Whatever it is, what is that? I think it's just simply that it's not what that person wants. They're confirming, I know you've got to go, but I still have things to say. I mean, is it any more than that? You know what I think it is? I think it's a ā there are two things that happen for people that are scared to do public speaking. They're very nervous. So what happens?
Well, they get dry mouth and they start sweating about their forehead. The two things you really don't want to do when you're public speaking is have a bone dry mouth and a super wet flop sweat brow. The irony is the moisture is just a few inches away. Why couldn't God have created us so that I get extra saliva and bone dry on the forehead and armpits?
No, I'm pitting out and I can't feel my tongue because it's cleaving to the roof of my mouth. Why are we wired that way? I don't know. But I think there's a kind of a wiring, which is when you tell someone, hey, hey, we're running short. They go, I got to go the opposite way. What's the over under on if you go right back to Ira? The first thing he does is ask his question. 45, Texas.
While in the shower, I realized... All right.
That was perfect.
That guy's a genius. I'm sorry.
I was the best. All right. Should we do JV or All Balls? Yeah. Let's do it. And now, Mangria presents The Deaf Rat Guy and JV or All Balls.
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Chapter 6: How does the discussion about koi lead to a deeper reflection?
Yeah. Well, the thing... I like the fact that... Hey, I can never figure this out. There's douchebag on, there's moose, and there's poochie, and then there's... All the guys say Mike.
They just put the last initial.
The priest at the funeral wasn't like, yeah, he died beating his meat in a tree. He was like, it was unfortunate. He said that, like, God... acts weird in ways that you can't ever imagine. Right. God, that's weird. But you know the full story? I mean, you know this is... Yeah, he was up in the... He loved it. Dude, he had a tattoo of him freaking beating his meat in a tree.
Oh, so he's done it before? Yeah, with lightning. Oh, yeah. Oh, it was his thing. He said you would, like... He said, um... He busted... A nut, big time. Oh. He said it was like... Wait, he said or they said? He said it was like... He didn't even care about ladies anymore. He just wanted... He would just watch the Weather Channel. Oh, so he timed it for lightning storms. He moved to Oklahoma.
Oh, really? Yeah. That's a man who's committed to a passion. Why are you moving to Oklahoma? Why are you wearing that? Like he had that raincoat, the Weather Channel raincoat. Because he was always watching the Weather Channel. He needed a raincoat. Right. So he's like a storm chaser. Yeah, but you know what? You got to ask yourself, when that lightning strikes you, you know it's all over.
You got to look yourself in the eye with that not worth it.
Right.
Yeah. It's worth it for Annette. Yeah, no, I get it. Well, he's going to miss. That's Mike. Was that Mike P? R. Mike R. Sorry. All right. So, all balls, JV? No, that was... All balls. Okay, okay. Just making sure. All balls. What about... Okay.
Okay.
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Chapter 7: What serene experience does the speaker share about swimming with a turtle?
And by the way, here's the beauty of me. I'm just a fucking garden variety dick. I just got done swimming with a sea turtle. And it was the most serene moment of my life. And then I went right back to cock like eight minutes later. Because when you're swimming with the turtle, you go, you see? Relax. Relax. Swim with the turtle. Does the turtle acknowledge you?
The turtle is basically cool with you in your kayak, although my son started squealing like a girl when I jumped out of the kayak in the middle of the ocean to go swimming with the turtle. He's like, ah! What the hell's going on? Because he's just left in the kayak with daddy jumping in there. And I was like, I got to jump on that turtle. How many sodas did daddy have?
I got to jump on that turtle. It was just a leaf. It wasn't even a turtle. You're doing that thing where you're paddling around and all of a sudden you see the turtle's head come out of the water. And the turtle, this looks like a wise old man. And he's like... And they're breathing out there, and they're just likeāand you go, Jesus Christ.
And you pull up to them in your kayak, and they still just sort of sit there, and they kind of float around. And they sort of go the opposite direction a little, but they're not scared of you. Like, they're not startled. They're just like, all right, we'll go over here, Howie. You know, we'll just move over this direction.
And you sort of follow them in their kayak, and they just kind of hang around. And then if you jump out of the kayak and start swimming with them, they'll just kind ofā
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Chapter 8: How does the discussion shift to the impact of alcohol on experiences?
They'll kind of do that thing where they'll be moving, but not scampering away. Just like, I'll go over here. But you just kind of can swim with them and kind of hang on to them and hit their shell and whatever. And one came right under my wife's kayak. My daughter reached down and, like, patted the shell. And then... My son wanted nothing to do with it.
Like he was in that kayak scared shitless. And my daughter did one of those near move things where she was like, give me the goggles. I gave her my mask and she did the I'm going to lean over and put my head in the water so I can see. And she started to slip and I grabbed her foot kind of thing. But she was freaked out and screaming. But I had that.
I had this super serene moment with the turtle moments earlier before I had to do that.
correction on the late checkout very mr olympic looks bloody i would be so chewy of you larry i don't want it you know what i would be if i'm going to hawaii i would be in the 72 marquee with jack lord going to a bar right i'm not going to be with the sea turtle and i don't care what it is i'm not going to be leaning over the side i i i don't want to touch an animal just floating up to the piss bar
Do you also not enjoy snorkeling? No, I don't want... You don't want fish to touch you. That might thing at the swim-up bar would just be like, yeah, we charge $9 for a Heineken, but you never have to go to the bathroom. I'd say that's a deal. All right, should we do a little hypothetical road trip? Talk about happy hour. Mm-hmm. That's the news. I'm Alison Rosen. Zip it, cunt.
That was the news with Alison Rosen. All right. We have a little hypothetical road trip game. The game where there are no wrong answers. The Hypothetical Road Trip game is sponsored by Discount Tire and America's Tire. Different names, same great company. If you need tires for your next hypothetical road trip, check out DiscountTire.com.
Oh, they put the treads on my 2000 Roadster that won me the Rolex, or as my son calls it, the Piston Cup. Yes, hello. My name is Graham Wellington. And I was like, did you see me pissing into this cup? And he said, no, it's from the movie, idiot. I'm like, oh, the piston cup. Right. Ben, did you piss into it? I don't limit myself to just sinks anymore. I've expanded my horizons. All right, Larry.
Oh, there's a picture of the ace man driving the BRE Datsun Roadster from 1968. I love that model. That used to have the side seat in the back. No, that's it. Ain't no room in the back. Just a little boot in the back, and that's it. That's me, and that's the actual first car Pete Brock from BRE ever built back in 1968. Cool little car. Anyway, let's do the hypothetical.
Again, this is the road trip. No wrong answers here, Larry, so relax. This is the road trip from the Santa Monica Pier to the Epcot Center in Florida, all right? Well, I'm relaxed. There's no fear in me. Because, number one, I know I'm good at this. Number two, I've been doing it for years with you. And I know, admittedly, once again, the record is spotty. But I'm happy. I love the game.
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