Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome to Cruel Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 17 years of The Adam Carolla Show. We have a separate podcast feed titled Cruel Classics. If you'd like to gain access to the ad-free archives, make sure to check out podcast1.plus.
And if you'd like to gain access to the ad-free archives of The Adam Carolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, as well as access to the new podcast, Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Carolla's Substack, adamcarolla.substack.com. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classicsatadamcarolla.com. All right, let's get to the clips.
Coming up first, we have Adam Curl's show 2519 with Haley Joel Osment, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop from 2019. Check it out.
Good news, bad news, medium news to share with you. Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you. Handball, Brian. Living the dream, yes. Positive energy. I was, I'll tell you something weird. Anyway, this half of the show brought to you by the way I heard it. at the podcast. It's Mike Rowe's podcast, by the way, which we love. And MedMen.com, Castro Ledge, Titanium Strong. Tell you about that.
So as you hear this, I'm getting ready to head over and do Kimmel's show. I was the lead guest, which means they couldn't find a good guest. He's the lead guest? I'm the lead guest. And... Hmm?
Hmm?
What happened? I don't know. Oh, you said as you hear this.
Oh, not as you hear this. Yeah, I don't mean as you hear this. As I say this, I'm getting ready to head over. As you hear it... As you hear this, he killed again. Killed again. I got a message late last night. You were bumped. And my... Now... My reaction, because I'm a Corolla, is, oh, I don't have to do something. Fantastic.
Canceled plans are like heroin.
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Chapter 2: What are the highlights of Adam Carolla's show featuring Haley Joel Osment?
They really are. Like John Mulaney says. They really are. I don't know that it is like heroin and that it doesn't get you anywhere, but it feels good.
It feels good. Oh, now I can nothing.
Right. Sweet relief. And then Mike August said, oh, not bumped. By the way, bumped means... Stay home. Kimmel's flown out to Letterman, sat in the green room in his dressing room, and been told that night, no going on, and flown back from New York. Not part of the Green New Deal, by the way.
Flying people out from one coast, having them sit and eat some pretzels and some cheese, and then turn around and go back to L.A. Not part of the Green New Deal.
Pump some crude while you're back there.
That's right. So I thought I was bumped, and then I said, oh, bumped? And then Mike said, not off the show, just from the first slot. And then he said, Lady Gaga is going to be the first guest. That makes sense. It makes complete and utter sense. And I have been thinking about this. I don't know why. all the queen talk lately.
It's just a lot of queen, a lot of queen in a lot of commercials, a lot of queen at the Oscars, a lot of queen, everything. And then I keep hearing that stupid Radio Gaga song, and I keep thinking about the missed opportunity for Weird Al to do Lady O' Gaga.
Wow.
I mean, look, if he can do My Bologna... And the lasagna song. You know, you got Radio Gaga, you got Queen, and you got Lady Gaga. Let's do Lady Gaga. You know, look, you write the rest of the stuff. How would that go? I'm saying... Lady Gaga. The master craftsman that put this masterpiece together... He could go ahead and do that with Lady Gaga. I don't know.
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Chapter 3: What does Adam Carolla share about his experience with being bumped from a show?
Weird Al what to do. I'm just telling him next subject, Lady Gaga to Radio Gaga. The time is nigh.
And I've never said this before, but since you have had such a problem with people remembering to bring their styptic, I would like to volunteer to personally be your styptic holder if Lady Gaga is going to be there.
Well, it's funny because I said to Natalia last night, I said, I'm doing Kimmel tomorrow. And she went, can I go? And she wants to go to go to Kimmel, but not from not her dance. That's an issue.
So you're a mule for backstage.
So I was like, I don't know. I like the idea. I like the experience part. I'm very much into the experience part of kids, which is which is to say going and sitting in a classroom. I can't you know, they're they're three or four days out of my entire life. scholastic experience that I remember sitting in the classroom. I remember when... When was the earthquake? Yeah.
My memories of in the classroom is Ray farting and then going out in the hall and me being moved by Mr. Bernal. I remember when a guy named Mike told Mr. Tompkins I wish we could fight. He's a ninth grader. He said, I wish it was okay to throw down with you. I'd like to kick your ass and Mr. Tompkins ran out the hall and yelled down the hall, that's my middle name, at the ninth grader.
But that's about all I remember. I don't remember any specific lessons or any specific days. Scholastic achievements. Yeah, I suppose if someone had an epileptic seizure or something, you'd remember that day.
You don't even remember carrying a woman to the nurse's office.
Well, it was a standing ovation that I think got rid of that in my mind. I definitely would have remembered it. If somebody said, what took you so long? I would have went, what do you mean? I was carrying a fat chick. And they would have went, well, next time you got to move faster. And then I went, God, screw you. Next time you carry the fat chick. I would have remembered that. But the standing.
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Chapter 4: What are the differences between guilty pleasures and tool tunes?
But if you like it, own it. It's a guilty pleasure. Fun, fun, fun. How about my Barbie girl living in a Barbie world?
That's a tool tune. That's a great song.
No, that's a legit good song.
Just end it, Brian.
Oh, we're calling that a tool tune?
Oh, yeah.
Dawson just threw up in his beard. He just said it was a good song.
Oh, my God.
It's a horrible song.
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Chapter 5: How does the discussion shift to childhood experiences and nostalgia?
Why is Forrest Gump on my screen, Max?
I was just putting talking points. Oh. I like Forrest Gump.
I love Forrest Gump. You're like Larry King. Pay it forward.
AI. Artificial intelligence. Madonna.
You have a daughter named Lorde. That was Larry this past saying Madonna. Madonna. Lords.
Or when he asked Jerry Seinfeld, are you an actor who's a comedian or a comedian who's an actor?
I love it. I did love that movie. Obviously, you were four when you did that movie, so there was no way for you to know what you were involved with. To an extent, yeah. But it was such a huge operation.
No, I know.
It should stick in your memory. But I think of that movie... It's rare that movies, in my opinion, movies are big and commercial and sort of groundbreaking. As a matter of fact, getting back to the Oscars, I like more of these movies and less sort of Moonlights in terms of, like, I don't like the weird little ditty slice of life. That's fine, but not for Best Film of the Year.
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Chapter 6: What insights are shared about the evolution of child actors in Hollywood?
Don't look at your producer for what school your kids go to.
This is embarrassing for you.
Listen. It looks at Chris. Screw them. They just raffled off a tour of my garage for $2,500. What do I need to remember them for? They need to remember my name.
Baseman.
That's the name you should be on all your lips over there. What school did my school go to? What's its face? Academy.
That's who.
You're not going to hardly give a rat's ass. Yes. I don't know. Is it there by JPL? Yeah, right there.
Oh, that's there. It's like that weird little cluster where it's like Sacred Heart, St. Francis, LCHS, and Flint Ridge all in that same block.
That's their school.
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Chapter 7: What kind of diet education do hospital workers provide?
I work in a hospital, and I assist patients with any diet education they need or assess their nutrition status.
And you can't get fat with a job like that, right?
No, not a good idea.
Because if you walk in and they're like, here's what you should be eating, they're like, uh-huh, okay.
Exactly, yeah.
gotcha yeah but isn't isn't well first off i don't know what hospital but i hope it's not kaiser no no because kaiser was kaiser my whole life and then at a certain point they put the word permanente at the end of it it's like well now i'm never leaving the hospital Like the worst diarrhea. Permanente.
It's always terminal at Kaiser Permanente.
Yeah, Kaiser Temporary. Temporary, yes. The Permanente. Being in the hospital, the whole plan with the hospital is how long you're in the hospital. Permanente sounds like you're never going to leave, and if you do, you're going to leave with a big Z across your chest. So, I'm sorry.
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Chapter 8: How do hospital meals compare to dietary advice?
Wait a minute. How can you get preachy about diet in a place that just... Pretty much serves up jello and shit on a shingle.
Oh, no, no, no, no. That's not true, Adam. They do good food now? Absolutely.
You can get good food at the hospital?
Yes. Well, it depends on what hospital you go to. At my hospital, we serve good food.
And so, myocondria, what is the definition?
It's the powerhouse of the cell. Thank you.
You just said that. Oh, there's like the nucleus and the whatever is and the Santa Maria and the... Yes.
Yes.
The Pinto, I think. Yes, and the Santa Maria, right. Right, right. It's the part of the cell. Let me tell you something. When we start talking about how much we share, it's like when people talk about, you know, you're 70% water in the world, you're 70% ocean. I just fucking glaze right over like a donut. I have... I know we're all just a bunch of cells.
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