Chapter 1: What is the purpose of the Corolla Classics podcast?
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we put the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 17 years of The Adam Corolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics. Check out podcast1.plus. There you'll find the ad-free archives.
And to access the ad-free archives of The Adam Corolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, as well as the podcast Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's sub-stack, adamcorolla.substack.com. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classicsatadamcorolla.com. Let's get to the clips.
Coming first, we have Adam Curl's show, 1728, featuring Cousin Sal, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop. This one's from 2016.
All right. Where were we? Oh, yeah. I got Phil. Speaking of Phil, I got a dog.
Yeah, I saw that. You got the dog that was going to be sent out, right? From the other shop?
It's a... Is that what happened? Well, what happened was... I had a puppy many years ago, a German Shepherd puppy that was, when I was single, that drove me insane for about five weeks and then died. Oh, God. Don't romanticize it. Yeah, the dog drove me so insane that when he died, I was not... I mean, I was sad, but it was almost like, okay, I can get on with my life at least. And I...
And then I got Molly Girl. And Molly Girl was one when Molly Girl showed up. And Molly is not only good for a one-year-old, she's good for a lab, but she's good for a person. She literally is the sweetest, nicest, easiest. And all of a sudden you have this dog that doesn't scratch, doesn't bark at the window, doesn't shit or piss in the house. It's like completely...
self-realized, self-autonomous dog that does nothing but eat in the morning, eat in the evening, and go outside and take a shit. And by the way, if she got locked in the house for eight hours, she'd hold it until it was time to get outside. Or one time, literally got locked in the house all day and went upstairs and shit on the tile in the bathroom.
Like, this is going to be the least intrusive place to shit. And I announced at that point Puppy, never again. Never again with the puppies. I want one-year-olds.
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Chapter 2: What are the highlights from Adam Carolla's show featuring Cousin Sal?
I've said it, and I mean it. People are like, oh, come on now. And I'm like, no, the puppy was much more work than my twins. And they're like... More work than twins? I was like, yeah, because I hired a heavyset woman of color to be the night nurse of the twins while I went and did a radio show. You can strap a diaper to the twins. Put a diaper on them, and guess who ain't changing that diaper?
They got to pay somebody, but it wasn't me. Right. The dog? Oh, no. Well, after the proclamation of no more puppies... And, of course, Natalia, right in my face, she wants a puppy.
Chapter 3: What experiences does Adam share about his previous dogs?
So, no, we get a dog when they're a year old, and they're all coached up, and we enjoy them.
They're still little.
Yeah, I know. Still essentially a new dog. Molly was the greatest. Well, smash cut to... Uh-oh. Well, let me tell you first. First, I'll put myself in a better mood. Blue Apron. Mmm. This stuff is good, healthy, strong. It's better than it needs to be. That's the... I think that seems to be the common refrain with this. Better, better. Like you go, oh, they didn't have to make it this good.
That stuff is great. And even the guy, I'm lowfalutin, this stuff sounds highfalutin, but it works. It all just works.
They tread the line between falutin and non-falutin.
Yeah. Shrimp scampi with a fresh linguine. Three cheese calzones, seared cod, date vinaigrette. Everything is good. Everything's good. And what we do oftentimes is old guy will just like triple down on the recipe because there's a bunch of people in my house. So this is, you know, two people can eat this. Well, we got five people. So she'll just double down on it and make the exact same recipe.
Pull the cards out. Keep the ones you like. It's great. And you don't have to go out, and you don't have to spend a bunch of money. It's about $10 a person, and it's about 500 to 700 calories per portion. It's all great. You make it in under 40 minutes. Go to Blue Apron. Blueapron.com forward slash Adam. You can get your first two meals for free. Blueapron.com forward slash Adam.
I'm telling you, try it. If part of your New Year's reso is to eat a little better, eat a little fresher, eat a little healthier, Blue Apron.
This is the way.
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Chapter 4: How does Adam's family react to getting a new dog named Phil?
Can we agree? Can we agree on that? I'm glad everyone has taken a stand, but can we try to not have this happen again? And they said, fine, we'll put the puppy pads down. That night before the dog goes in. And then we all went out to dinner and somehow they decided that my bathroom would be a good place to store the dog. Oh, wow.
And the dog pulled my bathrobe down off the rack and like wiped its ass with it, shoved it in the corner, took a shit in there. And then later on the next day... He loves you. The next day I woke up and there's a nice fresh shit on the carpet where the dog had shit in the shag. And I said... To Lynette and my daughter, I said, what happened to the puppy pads?
And they're like, yeah, we don't know. Sometimes the dog eats them. And shuts them out. The dog just ate the puppy pad? There's no chewed puppy pad. I don't know. And I'm like, well, Lynette, get the Bissell out. And she's like, yep. And I'm like... That's something I'd like to avoid in the new year, which is... I don't want to even watch you cleaning up the shit.
You should not want to ever do this again. It's a shared goal. It's it. I, I swear to God, I think it's part of the mom gene where it's like, ah, thing shit again, got to clean it up again. And I'm, I'm the guy who does nothing, but I want everyone's face on a coffee mug. Cause I don't want any more weird coffee spittle dried up in the body ever again.
Like I do this, I have this thing where it's like anybody who, who as an adult searches around for their car keys or their sunglasses is a fucking fool. That's just wasting their time. You're just wasting your time. Just put something in place. Never again. That's the way to work.
Don't it's, it's the weird, the weird thing is, is it's the greatest verbally, probably the greatest thing you could do for somebody, which is what I'm, what I'm saying is, is If I say to my wife, wow, you look great. God bless you. I love you. She'd probably get suspicious. I probably shouldn't say that. All right. If I said, sweetie, you're doing a great job raising these kids. You're the best.
She'd say she'd love it. She'd say, thank you. If I said, put a beach towel down so you don't have to get the bissel out for an hour and clean the sloppy shit out of the shag. She'd take that as sort of an attack. But actually, in terms of practicality, in terms of words, it's much better because I'm trying to avoid her having to do all this horrible work again. So anyway, the...
No beach towel, no puppy pads, and the dog just shit. And then, again, the weird conversation, where is the pad? I don't know. Is it still at large? No, we figured it out later that when they put the dog in my bathroom, they put the puppy pads there, and then they left the puppy pads there, and then the dog shit up the thing. And then I do this one.
All right, we're heading toward the pothole of life. And I do the one where it's the third night. I make the announcement in the afternoon, let's get those pads down so that dog doesn't shit up the corner ever again. All right, old man, stop your crowing. We're trying to party over here. And I'm always like, this is even my car. It's not my car. I just don't want you to ruin your rims.
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Chapter 5: What are the memorable moments shared about Phil?
Great acting. Walton Goggins is amazing in that.
I agree. It's... I liked it quite a bit, and my whole thing is, unless Quentin Tarantino comes out with any other movies in that calendar year, it'll usually be in my top five just because it's him, it's his dialogue, and it's his insanity. Again, you get into that thing that you get with Scorsese, you start comparing Casino to Goodfellas, and now we're in trouble.
Compare Casino to Casino, or the other movie that is in the cineplex, and we're doing pretty good. So I definitely... And I also recommend... I don't know why people do this, and it drives me nuts. I know we talk about it a lot. Gina, you're leaning in. You got something to say?
Well, I was just going to say that while I was watching it, I had Phil Rosenthal's voice going through my head. Because about halfway through, I thought, this... is a play.
Chapter 6: How does Phil's behavior reflect on family dynamics?
This is a play.
And I can absolutely see this as a stage play and might enjoy it more in some ways.
It's always interesting, though, and all the rules get broken. But he doesn't get his due for being the craftsman that he is when it comes to filming. That stuff looks amazing. But either way, there's no way you can make it through this movie at home. No way. There's just no way. You can't. You have to get up. You have to walk around. You have to use the bathroom. The phone will ring.
There's nothing. There's no three hours.
Chapter 7: What humorous anecdotes are shared about Phil's antics?
And you will. I guarantee it. I would say the over-under on hitting the pause is like 2.7 times for your average American in this thing, just to get up and head to the kitchen. I can't sit in my office for an hour getting a blowjob without having to walk me and my mistress to the kitchen. Tell me about it. I use a mechanic's creeper, so she's uninterrupted.
You don't realize, like, if you just put a nanny cam on your office sofa while you're watching TV and sped it up, you would get up. You don't realize how often you get up to walk over and blah, blah. Or just look at your phone. It just never ends.
Or there's some noise that you have to pause it because it's everybody else in the house, shut the hell up. I'm trying to watch this goddamn movie.
Yes, I had that this morning.
You can see what it's like in my house.
I was asleep, and apparently my wife and daughter were having a panty raid or a pillow fight.
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Chapter 8: How does the discussion transition to broader themes of life and family?
I don't know. Just outside of the door.
Or a panty fight.
And I did this one, which is actually quite a bit more effective than that move where you're laying in bed and you just do the, would you please shut up? That doesn't, it works, like it works, but you don't score any points. negative points. It's just kind of you screaming from the bed, but that's your impulse. I just got up and walked outside the room and I said, I'm sleeping.
Could you please be more considerate? And I just turned and walked back in. That's where you want to be. That's where you want to be.
The pod people got to Adam.
That's a good guilt trip you laid down.
It's much better than the scream from the bed because that's just a tie. Meaning we're having a pillow fight out here and you're screaming like a crazed person in there. That's a tie. But please be more considerate. That's a good one. Worked nicely. Very well done. Thank you. Still had to get up to do it.
Sure, yeah.
How long did that keep the noise down for?
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