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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Well, in this episode, Adam Ray, very funny comedian, is back. Rudy Povich, very funny comedian, is back doing news as well. We'll do all that right after this. The Ace Man's back in Boston at the Wilbur Theater on Thursday, November 6th. Then Friday, November 7th in Buffalo, New York at Electric City. On Saturday, he's down in Duluth, Georgia, appearing with Megyn Kelly at Gas South Arena.
Get tickets for these shows and more at adamcarolla.com.
This November, action is free on Pluto TV. Go on the run with Jack Reacher. Every suspect was a train killer. Then buckle up for Drive, World War Z. Every human being we save is one less fight. And Charlie's Angels.
Chapter 2: What upcoming events does Adam Ray mention?
Damn, I hate to fly. Launch into sci-fi adventure with The Fifth Element and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder.
What is going on here?
All the thrills, all for free. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never.
From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Corolla Show. Adam's guest today, Adam Ray. Plus the news with Rudy Povich. And now, with the passage of Prop 50, his new congressional district is going to be in Nevada. Adam Corolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. You managed to get it on now. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. I love that about you.
Adam Ray is in studio. Hello. He's on tour as we speak. Rudy Povich is in studio as well. He's going to be doing the news. Adam is headlining clubs and theaters all over the country. I'm actually going to be at the Wilbur Theater in Boston tonight, as you hear this. That's a great venue. I'll be there in January. Just added a second show. Oh, you did? Yeah. Oh, that's great.
It's a great... You ever been there before? I've been there to... When our pal Dana Carvey was doing his Netflix special there. I think White and 60, is it called? Or... Yeah, something like that. Something about I'm white. And by the way, I want to do a special as Joe Biden and call it, am I white or am I wrong? But I'm serious.
But yeah, I was at Laugh Boston, the comedy club in Boston, and Dana was there doing a special. And he got in the day before and was like, can I... come by with my family to see your show and hang. And I go, yeah, and obviously due time. There's no reason for you to be at this club and they'll freak out and it'll be great. He's like, yeah, is that cool? Just do like 10 minutes.
I go, no, no, no, do 40. I'll do 45. You do whatever you want. He did 45. And then we went up together and like jammed for about 30 and we taped the whole thing. And then I get off stage and the young kid behind the counter goes, Hey, man, I'm so sorry. I didn't hit record on the audio. And I go, of course you didn't. I go, this is your fourth day? He goes, second. I go, damn it.
Your name's Gabe? He goes, Connor. I go, pretty much the same thing.
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Chapter 3: How does Adam Ray feel about his performance at the Wilbur Theater?
But I've got the there's no pleasing. And I'm like, my answer is, why don't you try? doing whatever it is I told you to do correctly, and then I won't have to come back and finish whatever it is you started but didn't do, and then we'll see if I'm policed or not. But let's test it out first. Yeah, that sounds like a difference of opinion and also just a lack of accountability.
And it's like you can yell at the – I've gotten frustrated people for – at pod studios, they only get one of the four cameras that you pay for whatever. But then there's a certain thing of like – What is, it's not going to change anything. It's like my, you know, my, my grandma was on these weird blood thinners and they put her on the wrong thing.
And she ended up like falling out of the car and it should have just been a fall. And then she like bled out. And my mom was like, yeah, I could probably sue like, but that's not going to bring her back. So same thing with like screaming. Like I always try to pick my battles and go, is it yelling at the Delta Airlines gal like going to change anything?
No, but like sometimes there are teachable moments that I think everyone needs to. Citizens arrest is tough. Now, if I'm poking on the back of your seat too hard on the TV screen and you turn around and you scream at me and you go, hey, don't tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. And I say, hey, man, I am down to go into the bathroom right now and fight you or start making out.
Either way, I'm not gay, but I'll get gay right now. If I say that, I think I'm warranted because you turned around and you freaked out. Now, did this happen four weeks ago on a Southwest flight? Potentially. I'm just bringing it up because I'm trying to make small talk with my buddies. But my point is, pick your battles. Who are you guys voting for? I agree.
I agree.
I'm also amazed at how – because where I'm at, like middle of the road, I always looked at guys in your positions and went, oh, once you get to that level, nothing gets fucked up anymore.
Oh, no.
It's perfect. And then I realized once I started working with guys that are at your level, oh, everything gets fucked up still. It doesn't matter.
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Chapter 4: What unusual experiences does Adam share about his time at the clinic?
Yeah. But it also means I'm going to die first. I assume I'll go first. I'll be in hell. And then at some point you'll show up in hell and I'll be there. Stock the fridge. And we'll both be tormented. But then there's the shit rolls downhill, which anyone who's ever been camping.
and tried to shit on a hillside knows it most assuredly doesn't yeah like you can kick it three times it just grabs a bunch of twigs and stops nothing rolls down a hill worse than shit if anyone's attempted to roll shit rolls downhill is not good yeah the other shit related one is how about i'm up shit creek without a paddle why are you in shit creek to begin with
Yeah, and why'd you forget to paddle? And why'd you forget to paddle? All the things you should not forget.
If you're going to a place and you hear about a creek filled with shit, and you voluntarily go in it to swim, kayak, whatever you are doing that requires a paddle, and you didn't bring said paddle, whatever shit you get covered in, whatever feces, disease, great band name that you pick up, is on you. We're fast and loose with shit.
And the other one that's no good is when you're dating someone from the office and they go, don't shit where you work. Like, first off, they're calling you having a relationship. The reception is shitting. Or shit where you eat. Or shit where you eat. Sorry. Don't shit where you eat. Sorry. Shit where you eat. I only shit where I eat unless I'm at a restaurant.
I mean, I have a dining table that's about seven feet from the downstairs bathroom where the shitting takes place. Everyone shits where they eat. Even rich people shit where they eat. They get a little further away from the table.
Yeah.
But don't shit where you eat is a weird one to me, because everyone I know shits where they eat. Flight attendants might be the best example. They're the closest to the bathroom, aside from the pilots, and the snacks. They're only shitting and eating. When they say, I don't give two shits, it implies they give one. Yeah, and also, why stop at two?
If you don't get one, say, I don't give any shits. I don't give a half a dozen shits. Also, you're right. Everything is bad with shit. That guy, the shit-eating grin. Who's happy about eating shit? If I ate shit, my hands would be going... How about shit for brains? Shit for brains? Well, shit for brains could mean... You're not a clear thinker.
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Chapter 5: What humorous scenarios does Adam Ray mention about performing under pressure?
Later on, you kind of work it out. Now I could do it being chased by a bear down a trail at night. It feels good, doesn't it? I mean, Steve-O's falling out of planes doing it. I could do it at the free throw stripe with the guys banging thunder sticks together and waving. Did you hear that, Clippers? You have new in-game entertainment. I think I could get one off.
But when I was in high school, I needed space and room. Yes. I had to do a little toe point and lock out the thigh. Temperature had to be right. Check the barometric pressure and the humidity. Yeah. Check the wind sock. Yeah. Check the crust sock. Yeah. Check the hamper sock.
Chapter 6: How does Adam Ray describe his experience at the fertility clinic?
Yeah. Check all the socks.
The white socks.
All of them. The white socks. So the stand-up move is, again, I don't... I don't know that 100% of males can do the stand by the sink move. Look, there are many dudes who can't take a piss at a urinal if someone else is in the building.
You know what I mean?
There's a lot of shy bladder guys. It stands to reason that 10% or 15% of dudes can't just – you can't just say to a dude, like, here's a Dixie Riddle Club. There's a room with a hollow corridor. Your family's just going to be waiting in the reception room over here. So just go toss one off at 1045 in the morning right over there. I don't know that everyone could pull that off.
You're a performer, obviously. You're a professional. You love the sound of the crowd.
Yeah.
The chair also wasn't ideal, you know? And you just reminded me about that too.
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Chapter 7: What comedic insights does Adam Ray share about handling awkward situations?
Cause that's, I think that's why I had a chair. I went back and forth between standing and sitting because I was just like, the chair was this weird oval to where like my, the, my base was wide. And I'm like, I never sit like I'm a fucking catcher, a backup catcher in a league of their own. I just was like, my legs were, I was like, so then I stood up.
And then by the time I stood up, then I was like, fuck it, I was probably doing like five or six minutes. Were you in that position that the catcher's in for the ceremonial throwing out of the first pitch? Not a full squat, but not just standing. They're just kind of in a sort of prone kind of position. I was in triple threat as a high school basketball coach.
Chapter 8: How does the discussion shift to the topic of Jared Fogle and brand endorsements?
W. Bush is going to throw it out. I'm not going to be down on the ground, but I'm not going to be standing there. Like that move. Yes. That move. I it's just such a normal thing. I think that they guys and gals that work at these places are just like, yeah, like you're a dude. Go in there. You know what to do.
Like, don't don't glorify or glamorize this because as much as we want to and be like, like part of how much time this is the beginning of a baby spend in there. From start to finish, after I left to ask for more ingredients and a working DVD player. I would have been too shy to ask for the DVD player. I was already there.
After she already asked me to come around my pee, the floodgates were open as far as where this relationship was headed. The verbiage might have been a little different. Probably from start to finish. I don't know, eight, nine minutes? Me and Jimmy did a man show bit where we had a competition. That's great. And we were in a facility, and we essentially tied. Wow. Yeah.
I mean, I beat him by like eight seconds. Were you talking through the wall, love is blind style? Yeah, there was a hallway, and I basically won, but it's only because... he took the time to pull his pants back up before he came out. And I was like, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm shaving tents like an F1 driver, you know, every 10, you know? So, uh, it was, it was literally, literally like, like tied.
But, but here's another thing. Do, as I recall, when I was doing the in vitro stuff, uh, The deal was once you got the call, you got the call. Like somebody was ovulating and you got – it's go time. It wasn't like we're going to test your sperm. It's like we got to go – when you get the call, you got to go now. And if you don't go now, they charge you for it.
And I was doing – I was working on a script once and I thought of this – I thought of this bit, maybe we can workshop it here, but I thought of this bit where it was the same thing. It's like the guy wanted to do it at home, but he couldn't do it at home because home was 30 minutes away and the clinic was across town, so he couldn't do it. He'd never been to the clinic, you know, whatever.
Then he figured out that one of his buddies actually lived like four minutes from the clinic. But he didn't want to tell his buddy, but he knew his buddy was at work. And he knew the key was under the mat kind of thing. So he just let himself into his buddy's place because that was close to where the place was. But, of course, his wife came home from work and interrupted them.
The session when he was doing sweaty, like standing in the bathroom with this guy's house at noon. So he said, fine, I'll go to the I'll go to the facility. I don't even know where it is. It's in some strip mall. He pulls into the strip mall and realizes where the fertility clinic is was the old hardware store his dad used to take him when he was a kid. Oh, God. And his dad's passed away. Oh.
And he pictured, like, he'd walk in there and he'd picture, like, old man Drucker behind the counter going, oh, boy, you're getting so tall. One day you're going to be, you know. Oh, God. on his dad's shoulders, you know, as they walked through there and looked at all the tools. And he's like, I'm not going to desecrate the memory of my dad with this. And his wife was like, we're on the clock.
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