Chapter 1: What are the unique challenges faced by individuals with AuDHD?
23 all-DHD accommodations that are going to make people's life a lot easier. And there's three in here that I'm going to flag when we get to them that I personally think has helped me the most. And I truly believe that will help the listeners and the viewers the most. So what do you mean by all-DHD accommodations?
Or DHD, if you've got a dual diagnosis of autism and ADHD, that complex push and pull, many contradictions, wanting to be clean but struggling to maintain that clean environment, or craving stimulation but also getting overstimulated easily, for example. that internal tug of war.
If you live with that type of neuro type, that type of nervous system, which can be very confusing, then the accommodations that work well for that are very unique. And I think that's what we're going to go through today.
Great. Okay. So 23.
23 and i think so many people get uh an adhd diagnosis at one point in their life and then they finally realize that actually there's more going on and they also have autism and i think the problem somebody faces in that position is that they then don't know what to ask for or they don't know how to advocate for themselves whether that's in their personal life in trying to be productive in their relationships or at work i think it's a very confusing time because they're not only
coming to terms with this new awareness that they're all DHT rather than just ADHD. So they're also trying to figure out who they are and therefore really struggle to understand what is going to work for them in terms of benefiting their life.
And what was that? I remember Jay Beach had a really good analogy about what all the HD feels like. It was that there's like two siblings dragging each other across the room by their hair. I love that visual. Very good visual.
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Chapter 2: How can taking a mental health day benefit those with AuDHD?
So I guess if that's what is happening in your brain, you don't really always know what to ask for. So this is a list. It's what you can ask for.
Yeah, and the first one, and this is going to be quite... I don't think it should be controversial. I think it's normalizing not having a shower every single day. I personally do have a shower every day. I'm very busy. I'm up and down to London a lot. I'm very active. But I think for a lot of people, it's not necessary.
And I feel like there's this kind of unspoken rule that you have to shower every single day. And that's what everyone does. That's what humans do. But... Speaking to a lot of people in the community, I think that actually getting undressed, getting in water, it's incredibly overstimulating.
It's a sensory nightmare sometimes, having to get soaking wet, having to dry yourself, the time that it takes, the sort of mental energy it takes to think about starting that process. I feel like unless you... are a marathon runner or you're extremely active. I don't think we need to shower every single day sometimes.
Having to wait for the perfect temperature of the shower.
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Chapter 3: What are some effective strategies for managing overstimulation?
It's a waste of time.
scratchy towel the feeling of your feet on the cold ground and putting on clothes when you still might be slightly damp oh that's bad yeah yeah but then you could have it the other way as well like if people would maybe like shower because it's sort of zone you can zone out and the you don't have background noise because you've just got the monotone of the the shower and the water so do you think some people like showering
I think some people love showering. I love taking baths, for example. I try and have at least three, four baths a week. It's my total comfort zone where I enjoy spending time. It's great. Light a candle, lower the lights. For some people, it will work. For some people, it doesn't. I think it's just a conversation to start.
If you are somebody listening or watching and you feel a lot of shame about...
not showering as often as society tells you that you should then sometimes it's not necessary and we can unstrip that sort of unspoken requirement to shower every single day so number 23 never ever shower ever again right okay good saving water bills exactly so number 22 22 give never brush your teeth yeah never brush your teeth yeah Give a non-answer.
So what I mean by that, if someone asks something of your time, for example, do you want to go for dinner tonight? Or do you want to go for lunch in an hour? Or can you walk my dog tomorrow? Rather than say yes straight away, I think it's the knee-jerk reaction for many people. Give a non-answer that gives you more time to think about what you really want to do.
Because I think so many people have this kind of
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Chapter 4: How does wearing the same outfit simplify daily decisions?
internalized masked response when people ask something of them and they jump to yes when you can give a non answer which could be can i let you know tomorrow i'm not comfortable with that idea, I don't know all the information, can I get back to you, are some examples. And it's up to you to decide what's urgent.
Don't let somebody, maybe it's a boss, maybe it's somebody you don't know very well, pressure you into thinking that there's urgency to give a commitment right now, you can make that decision yourself.
And by saying, can I let you know tomorrow, you're giving a non-answer, you're buying yourself time, which will enable you to then think about whether you actually want to do that thing or not, rather than letting the masked version of you lead the way, which often... puts you in a position you don't really want to be in. And it's very hard to turn a yes into a no.
It's easier to turn a can I think about it into a yes.
Don't let their impatience dictate your life decisions.
Yes.
Because you're like, well, what right do you have to be impatient? I don't have to give you an answer now. You can even say that.
Yeah, exactly. It's so important to prioritize your own energy and your own well-being and what you want to do rather than being pressurized into doing something that you don't want to do.
Yeah, and that ties into the whole people-pleasing aspect, doesn't it? Of always saying, yes, I'd love to do that even though you don't want to. And then it comes back to haunt you.
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Chapter 5: What role does body doubling play in productivity for AuDHD individuals?
So this is one of the three that I think are going to help the most. A mental health day. You know, I think so many people with all-DHD wake up and you're just completely dysregulated. You wake up, you can feel that you're approaching burnout, you've had a really stressful, really overstimulating couple of days, and you feel that inability to focus, that brain fog, that irritability.
And I think we should really normalize having... mental health days and advocating for yourself and taking that day off work and doing whatever it takes in that 24 hours to bring yourself back to a regulated space, spending time with yourself, taking a long walk, spending time with people that you really, really like.
Because if you don't, if you just work through that dysregulated space, if you force yourself to go to work or you force yourself to go to that thing you said yes to, then you're only going to crash into burnout and then you're going to need three or four days off to recover from that burnout.
So it's really beneficial for everyone when you are in that dysregulated space and you wake up and you feel like you just can't do today to advocate for yourself and just take that day off.
Yeah, I guess that inner turmoil, that inner pain is telling you something, isn't it? Just relax. Take a day to yourself. What would you do on a mental health day, Alex?
What would I do? Gosh, I would probably spend a couple of hours on YouTube, probably play computer games, probably listen to music. I'm a big Damien Rice fan. Take my dog for a walk. I'd probably have a takeaway. I'd probably skip the gym.
Yeah, although some people would want to go to the gym on their mental health day, wouldn't they?
Yeah, for some people it's absolutely great.
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Chapter 6: Why is it important to ask for context in conversations?
I think I'm lucky I live on the seafront. I'll take my dog for a long walk, get that fresh air in my face. I think it's so important to really connect with the natural earth. So I'd go on the beach, feel those stones under my feet, maybe dip my toes in the water, and just spend time with my dog.
Yeah. Nice mental health.
What would you do on a mental health day?
On a mental health day, yeah, I think I'd start with a big, nice, long run. And then the rest is simple after that, isn't it? After you've done something quite hard in the morning, you can relax for the rest of the day, as we were just talking about off camera. But yeah, I guess intuition, just following what your body wants.
Yeah, it's amazing how many companies don't have taking a mental health day as part of their accommodation packages or don't see it as a necessary accommodation. If you genuinely feel, and if you are all DHD, you'll know that feeling where you just don't have...
any social battery left you're full of brain fog completely overstimulated overwhelmed you need to really protect yourself at that point because if you just plow through it and go to work get on the bus train whatever it is get to the office you're going to crash anyway significantly harder a couple of days later and then you're gonna have to take two or three days off yeah good advice mental health day good right number 20.
So I probably got a bit of male privilege saying this, but I stick to the same outfit most days as often as I can. And I don't wear the same. I've got like four of these, four of these white t-shirts. I've got three of these jeans. I've got quite a few of these jackets. Um, it just takes away the decision making ability of having to decide what to wear.
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Chapter 7: How can music aid in transitioning between tasks?
Mm-hmm. If I had to decide what to wear every single day and have a new outfit, a new look, then I wouldn't have any capacity left in my head to think about managing this podcast and being creative.
I remember Daniel Radcliffe did that, didn't he, during the height of Harry Potter fame. To trick the paparazzi, he'd just dress in the exact same thing every day, so it looked like they got the same picture every day. Sneaky. Sneaky, but also clever, and he wasn't overwhelmed in the morning choosing his outfit. So also good advice if you're extremely famous.
At Hogwarts, do they have to wear the same outfit every day?
I think so. The same gown. The same gown, yeah.
Maybe he learned it there.
Yeah, that's good advice because you do dress in the same thing pretty much every time you come to the studio, don't you?
Yes. If you watch the back catalog of episodes, you'll see that I wear this or have worn this probably six months. Actually, to be fair, it rotates. Every six months is generally a slight change, depending on seasons, probably. Once I find something that I like, then that's it. It's like, okay, that job's done. I've made that decision.
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Chapter 8: What is the significance of recognizing feelings of overstimulation?
I don't need to think about that anymore. And that's what I'll wear for six months.
So number 19, what's that?
Flexible start times. So I think we should all accommodate for ourselves in whether it's in the workplace, enabling yourself to at least have the confidence to ask to start work maybe 10 minutes earlier or 10 minutes later than is the sort of standard time to come into the office. How many people have... been forced to come into the office at the required start time.
And because of that, it's put them in the firing line of the rush hour traffic or a really, really busy underground train or a packed bus. And you're completely overstimulated, completely derailed and disheveled mentally before you've even got to work. Sometimes just advocating for a slightly flexible start time, 10 minutes either side, and you completely avoid the...
the frazzledness in your head that comes with avoiding the rush hour traffic.
Yeah, that's good. And also flexible start times, I reckon you could avoid small talk if you start a little earlier or start a little later. Because if everyone arrives at the same time, everyone's talking, it's annoying. But if you start earlier, you're like, oh, I can't talk, I'm busy with work. because I actually got here early because I take my job seriously.
That's a good extra little point. Yeah, you can have some quiet time at the coffee area, coffee machine, without having to talk about the weather with your colleague. Yeah, I agree.
That's a good point. Right, number 18.
Yeah, so again, this one's for the workplace really. And it's asking for a grace period after a meeting because... I've been in hundreds of meetings in my career, and so many times there's a problem that is put to the group, everyone in the meeting.
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