Alchemy This

Crew of astronauts

28 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Crew of astronauts on International Space Station have been up there too long.TV network scrambles to fix reality show that casts all sober people.Pen...

Divorce Court.

23 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Divorce Court.Sandwiches Without Borders.Satan’s Kids at Summer Camp. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee o...

James Heaney plays a Bond villain

21 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

James Heaney plays a Bond villain taking over a coffee farm.Socially awkward and unintentionally offensive guy goes to a “How to pick up women” wo...

Two different spy teams...

16 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Two different spy teams stumble upon each other when spying on drug cartel.First time parents take a newborn care class.Hidden life of pasta. Learn m...

Mr. & Mrs. Foamhaaans.

14 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

 Mr. & Mrs. Foamhaaans.The Curse of The Mummy.Vegetarian themed fight club. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork...

Murder mystery ala Agatha Christy.

09 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Murder mystery ala Agatha Christy.Hoax crop circle makers run into aliens making real crop circle, and aliens created Steve Buscemi.Hypnotized to talk...

Antartica. That is all.

07 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Antartica. That is all.CIA tries a coup in U.S. Another day at the world’s worst accounting office — Fabricio & O’Malley Accounting and Me...

Superheroes and villains....

02 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Superheroes and villains plan a showdown in the age of social distancing.Construction workers at Stonehenge vs. Druids.Misfit actors
on a low budget...

Haunted house...

30 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Family enters a haunted house…ghosts act normal and boring.Teenagers in a small town in Iowa.A grandpa tells grandchildren stories from the Vietnam ...

Burger...

25 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

 Burger.Loud upstairs neighbor.Comedy night at a Russian gulag. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystud...

Tina, an adoption agent,..

23 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Tina, an adoption agent, visits homes to assess the suitability.Aliens invade the planet during a pandemic.Clue-style haunted house murder mystery. L...

A fishing guide ...

18 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

A fishing guide who thinks they know where all the good fish are, but really don’t know anything.Marvin McCue uses his new cell phone to chat with f...

Alchemists learn about James Franco.

16 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Alchemists slowly begin to learn about James Franco.Mousetraps.A meeting between elves dwarfs humans and other fantasy creatures deciding whether or n...

Nikki Schitts makes a....

11 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

 Nikki Schitts makes a comeback as a youth pastor.Sci Fi novelists go on Yoga retreat and leader isn’t what he seems.2040 — Joey Greer wins the p...

Jacinda Ardern kidnapped

09 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Jacinda Ardern kidnapped by US in bid to change leadership.QVC host goes on a thrill ride with an Aquarius gem.Bear Grylls takes “James Heaney” on...

Butt, Pizza, Small town sheriff.

04 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Butt, Pizza, Small town sheriff.Confident Count Dracula asks in Sarasota, FL.An aspiring criminal finally gets selected to commit his first crime, and...

How the Louisiana Senator...

03 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

How the Louisiana Senator got his groove back.Therapist begins to suspect their clients are all undercover therapists.Horror movie icons catch up at b...

Lead actor is so disliked....

28 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Lead actor of a show is so disliked that they sabotage him during the show.Antiques roadshow cops.Nudist beach catastrophe. Learn more about your ad-...

World of Warcraft...

26 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Players of World of Warcraft are sucked into the game.Most regrettable tattoos shop.High school kids in the nationals of a competition. Learn more ab...

Super Mario based on real people.

21 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Turns out Super Mario Bros based on real people.First monster mash dance hosted by gay Dracula.A group of people delirious with fever trying to commun...

Crew of US Navy sailors...

19 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Crew of US Navy sailors deployed without any knowledge of how to run a ship
Norway and Australia join forces vs them.Young couple goes to seedy huma...

Seance from the late 1800s.

14 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Seance from the late 1800s.Aliens pick-up a faint radio transmission from Earth.Two folk musicians need a room for the night. Learn more about your a...

The Can You Buzz Me In guys

12 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The Can You Buzz Me In guys get find new jobs.High School student council picks prom theme.Wikipedia editorial board meeting running through changes t...

What is life like this days?

07 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

What is life like this days?Prude couple surrounded by nudists, ridiculed for wearing clothes.Meeting to brainstorm new ideas for national defense. L...

Some southern people

05 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Some southern people who have never seen snow get stuck traveling up north…Taxi drivers vs Uber drivers….Nazi spy is undercover at a bed bath and ...

A family isolating...

30 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

A family isolating at home discovers that COVID-19 has been over for years.President Trump and a James Heaney type get to be in a telenovela.The podca...

Joey is a garbageman

28 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Joey is a garbageman passing by his own house.A fan wins a guest spot on Alchemy This, and is terrible.Video gaming grandma streams live on twitch. L...

Gang of treasure hunting dwarfs...

23 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

gang of treasure hunting dwarfs dig their way into Kevin Pollak’s basementvinnie barbarino gets older and learns computer basics 101Joey Greer wins ...

Alchemists help Joey ...

21 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

alchemists help Joey deal with multiple personality disorder...countries chose one person to live in a bunker,it’s orientation day one of us cast as...

Cororana Virus SWAT Team:

16 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Cororana Virus SWAT Team: French Chef Offers A New Baby Dish. :DILFS fly to Iceland for Make A Wish.  Learn more about your ad-choices at https:/...

Consistently Charming Gerard Butler
, But Not That One.

14 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Consistently Charming Gerard Butler
, But Not That On : Alchemy This Gets A Movie Deal: Jesus Christ, The Illusionist  Learn more about your ad-ch...

An Alchemist Gets Mugged...

09 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

An Alchemist Gets Mugged: Kingdom of...: Improv Made Illegal Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.c...

James' Success Needs Intervention...

07 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

James' Success Needs Intervention: Depressed Clown with Latex Allergy: James as Satan, Revisited Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.ihea...

Failed Exorcism:

02 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Failed Exorcism: Misunderstood Kid Joins Circus: Execs Pitch Ad Campaign... Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comS...

Gang Goes To Heaney’s For Hashbrowns…

31 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Gang Goes To Heaney’s For Hashbrowns… Joey Greer’s Chili Ring… Heaney Interrogated By FBI… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www....

Super Fan Kidnaps The Alchemists…

26 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Super Fan Kidnaps The Alchemists… Kid Chef, Sushi King… Canadian Diner… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.co...

Cops Test Street Drugs…

24 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Cops Test Street Drugs… Getting Out Of A Parking Ticket… Bunk Acid At The  Woods Festival… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.ih...

Frat house murder mystery…

19 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Frat house murder mystery… Cult of James Heaney… The Alchemists on a quest… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwor...

A public relations disaster…

17 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

A public relations disaster… Ronald McDonald, where is he now… Cook off using only a little wedge… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://...

James Heaney has had enough…

12 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

James Heaney has had enough… Psychic’s dog is her crystal ball… Scary sky diving simulation…  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://ww...

Hunting the body-shamed white whale…

10 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Hunting the body-shamed white whale… An inconvenient labor… Space ship crew debate…  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpod...

Cruise Ship Amnesia...

05 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Cruise Ship Amnesia; Bad Life Coach; Jigsaw Puzzle Competition. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudi...

Snoofa Hosts Oscars;

03 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Snoofa Hosts Oscars; Anesthesiologist Walks Into A Bar; Siri Releases Info. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comS...

Alchemist Team Building Retreat;

27 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Alchemist Team Building Retreat; Cincinnati Tire King; The Hold The Door Guy. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.co...

Making Sex Support Group;

25 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Making Sex Support Group; Crimes Denied; Valentines Day Usurper.  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnyst...

Apocalyptic Heaney...

20 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Apocalyptic Heaney; Who Will Replace Kevin; Attempted Ventriloquism In The Workplace. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastne...

James Learns Accents With Rosetta Stone...

18 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

James Learns Accents With Rosetta Stone; Alchemists As Amish; Swedes And Scandinavians In New Jersey.   Learn more about your ad-choices at https:/...

What happens in a Doomsday bunker...

13 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

What happens in a Doomsday bunker: Jesus comes back?: Small talk support group... Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwor...

Grocery Clerks infatuation with Bananas...

11 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Grocery Clerks infatuation with Bananas: A French Imposter: Middle Schoolers swap bodies with CEOs. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.i...

Taxidermist Hired At Zoo...

06 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Taxidermist Hired At Zoo; The Hean Wins Another Oscar; Wedding Photog vs Bride & Groom. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpod...

Pet Adoption Day—Cats vs Dogs...

04 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pet Adoption Day—Cats vs Dogs; Teeny-Tiny Family-Owned Burger Joint; Paranoid Family Visits Amusement Park. Learn more about your ad-choices at htt...

Pet Owners On An Elevator...

30 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pet Owners On An Elevator; What’s That Coming Down The Line; Chris Alvarado As An Italian Tour Guide. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://w...

Alchemy This Cast At A Podcast...

28 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Alchemy This Cast At A Podcast Con; Espionage Con; Loving Their Lousy Job. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSe...

Professional Photographer’s Worst...

23 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Professional Photographer’s Worst Nightmare; Forest Spirit Demands Boon; Welcome To Camowski Park Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.i...

Mad Scientist Examines Patients...

21 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Mad Scientist Examines Patients; Dry Cleaner Receives Questionable Items; More Of That! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcast...

Bomb Squad in Action...

14 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Bomb Squad in Action: Office Lottery Scandal: Hikers have No Business on Mt. Everest Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnet...

Drunk lumberjacks want a strip club…

09 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Drunk Lumberjacks In Search Of Strip Club; International Officials Exchange Ideas; Snufa In Space. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.ih...

School Band P/T Conference...

07 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

School Band Parent/Teacher Conference; Kevin Pollak Auditions Guest Hosts; One Half Of Double Date Unravels Horribly.   Learn more about your ad-ch...

Last Chance For Famous Brand...

02 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Last Chance For Famous Brand; Awards Show For The Participators; The Customer Always Right, Right?    Learn more about your ad-choices at https://...

The Professor Knows Porn...

31 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

The Professor Knows Porn; Hollywood Retirement Home; Kentucky Woman In Australia.  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetw...

Chernobyl Guided Tour...

26 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Chernobyl Guided Tour; Goblins Attack DND Players; Those Who Don’t Answer  Phone Calls Are Prosecuted. Learn more about your ad-choices at https:...

Drunk Hunters...

24 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Drunk Hunters; New Telemarketers; Boss of tweens;.  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/liste...

Inmates Plan Escape...

19 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Inmates Plan Escape; A Blank, A Blank And A Blank Walk Into A Bar; Teens Make Prank Calls. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodc...

Cat Miners...

17 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Cat Miners; Passengers On A Magic School Bus; Court Jesters Must Entertain Sir Marvin McHugh. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartp...

Beta Gender, Non-Binary people getting coffee…

12 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Unassertive Beta Gender, Non-Binary People Get Coffee; Space Beings Stop At Box-Mart; One Employee LOVES Working Longer Hours For Less. Learn more ab...

Small Town Skater Kids...

10 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Small Town Skater Kids; Blindfolded Strangers Led On A Guided Tour; Low-balling Appraiser With Suspicious Experts. Learn more about your ad-choices a...

Unique Farmer’s Market...

05 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Unique Farmer’s Market; Irish Thieves And The Stowaway Larry Drake; Coming Apart At The Seams. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.ihea...

Marven McHugh As Call-In Radio Host;

03 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Marven McHugh As Call-In Radio Host; They Walk Among Us; Mom Doesn’t Want To Sell The House. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheart...

Extreme Scavenger Hunt In Space;

28 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Extreme Scavenger Hunt In Space; Marching Band Suffers A Scandal; Finally A Child President. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpo...

A Minnesota home cooked meal...

26 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Minnesota Mom Takes Visiting Family To Target; Salesman Won’t Leave Home; Everyone Hates Work But This Guy. Learn more about your ad-choices at htt...

Med School Grads Celebrate;

21 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Med School Grads Celebrate; A Funeral With Surprises; Objection During A Royal Wedding. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcast...

Marvin McHugh Meets Judy Garland;

19 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Marvin McHugh Meets Judy Garland; A Farmer’s Market; Colonoscopy As Therapy. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.c...

Soldier’s Mother Travels To Iraq...

14 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Soldier’s Mother Travels To Iraq To Check Up On Him; Feels Like A Heart Attack; Mid-Evil Times Actor Hits On Women At A Bar. Learn more about your ...

Scientist Faked It To Make It;

12 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Scientist Faked It To Make It; Intern Does Anything For 2 to 7 Dollars; Handsome Man Uses Nerdy Brother As Front On Dates. Learn more about your ad-c...

U.S. Cruise Ship Through Norway;

07 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

U.S. Cruise Ship Through Norway; Child Teacher vs Adult Students; No Toilet Aboard Apollo 11 Begets Astonishing Ingenuity. Learn more about your ad-c...

An Escape Room;

05 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

An Escape Room; The Stone Age Meets The Future; Old West Outlaws Face-off With School Teacher. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheart...

R-rated Freak Attraction...

31 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

R-rated Freak Attraction At A County Fair; Sheriff Pulls Over School Bus; Wall Streeter Sentenced To Community Service. Learn more about your ad-choi...

Healthy Patients and Sick Doctors;

29 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Healthy Patients and Sick Doctors; Murder In The Control Tower; C Minus Celebs At a ComicCon. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartp...

Biologists exploring find a Chupacabra…

24 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Biologists exploring find a Chupacabra… Worst. HR. Dept. Ever… What if the Alchemy This cast were actually patients in an asylum… Learn more ab...

Uni-Body Part Group Therapy...

22 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Uni-Body Part Group Therapy; Feuding Ferry Captains; Haunted House Reality Show. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork...

Jacob, Rachel and Leah...

17 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Jacob, Rachel and Leah; Ocean, Party Of Two; Untested Pet Products. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnys...

School Drop Off...

15 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

School Drop Off; How Kevin Recruited The Alchemists; Naming A New Mascot. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee...

CutCo Knife Sales Replicants;

10 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

CutCo Knife Sales Replicants; “Live Police;” Not-So Typical Office Bullpen. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork....

Absurdly Busy Pizza Joint;...

08 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Absurdly Busy Pizza Joint; University Admissions; All Things Rats.Disgruntled customers vs loopy pizza makers… Pressure mounts during University adm...

Detectives Interrogate James Heaney...

03 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Detectives Interrogate James Heaney; The Pool Man Knows All; Holy Grail Found At The Mall Of America. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www...

OCD Sufferer Is Jailed

01 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

OCD Sufferer Is Jailed; Alleged Aussie Struggles With Accent; Batman and Robin’s New Cave.His OCD is exacerbated from being incarcerated… Man insi...

Pet Frogs Plan An Escape...

26 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Pet Frogs Plan An Escape; “Dad, Dad, Dad,” The Gameshow; James Heaney Has A Fox. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnet...

Castaways Find Others

24 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Castaways Find Others; Pretentious Young Artists; Americans Running Pot Back Through Canada. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpo...

Training For Jaded Geniuses

19 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Tech Support Training For Jaded Geniuses; Interviews For A New German-Based Start-Up;  Wealthy Brits Meet Their American Trash Neighbors. Learn more...

Origin Of British Posh-Speak

17 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Origin Of British Posh-Speak; Backstage With The Band, Wunderkind; Couple’s Retreat Is Actually A Cult. Learn more about your ad-choices at https:/...

The Uncle Squishy Show

12 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

On-Set Of A Children’s TV Show; Competing Car Salesmen and Saleswomen; Safety Officer Inspects A Building. Learn more about your ad-choices at http...

Medieval Prisoners

10 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Medieval Prisoners Welcome A New Inmate; Inventor Strolls And Solves Problems; Hipsters Discover Hitler. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://...

Grocery Store Detectives

05 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Too many plain-clothes grocery store detectives… Comedian Nicky Shitts showcases for The Tonight Show… A white house intern attempts to save the d...

Questionable Renters

03 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Questionable Renters Come A Callin’; The Next Great Tech Company; Brothers Inherit a Nightmare. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.ihe...

Passengers On A Commuter Train

29 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Passengers On A Commuter Train; Marvel’s First Openly Gay Super Hero; The Day The Machine Woke UP. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www....

Psychologist’s First Day

27 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Psychologist’s First Day At The Clinic; Organizing To Set A Guinness Book Record; Substitute Teachers Give ‘Em Hell. Learn more about your ad-cho...

Friends Playing Clue Solve Murder

22 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Pals playing Clue in an isolated cabin have to solve an actual murder… Teenage Carlos tries to cheer up the elderly at Seniors Center… A lowly, tr...

Dog-Walkers Chill In Owner’s Home

20 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dog-Walkers Chill In Owner’s Home; Faculty Attempts Cow Removal After Senior Prank; Kids Try To Save Ice Cream Shop.Dog-Walkers are discovered hangi...

Crime Boss, Michael Mann at Theme Park

15 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Michael Mann opens a ride at Wonder Park and Mafioso Don Angelotti wants to meet him… Some Caveman were wildly smarter than others… Man wins McDon...

What The Dead Leader's Parrot Knew

13 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

What The Dead World Leader’s Parrot Knew; The Hangover Revisited; Truckers See Everything In Passing Cars.Norweiga’s President is dead, and his pa...