AEE: Socializing in English Part 3 - The Art of the Compliment
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What is the invisible social layer behind compliments in English?
This is the All Airs English Podcast, Socializing in English, Part 3, The Art of the Compliment.
Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, and Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer. Coming to you. from Arizona and Colorado USA. Compliments are sometimes about more than you realize. Today, learn about the invisible social layer when it comes to compliments and learn how to handle them with ease to connect.
Have you ever walked out of a meeting thinking, I could have said that better? You understood everything, but your response came out short, or unclear, or not quite like you. Maybe your ideas are strong, but your English doesn't show it yet. You forget words you know. You can't explain things naturally, and fast conversations. Leave you quietly catching up. That gap can be frustrating, but it's also very specific and very fixable. Our two-minute fluency quiz helps you understand where that gap is and whether your level is B1, B2, or C1. When you know your level, progress feels lighter and faster. Take the quiz now at all earsenglish dot com slash fluency score and move closer to speaking English the way you think.
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Hello Lindsay. How are you today? Good, Aubrey. Are you good at receiving compliments? I'm really not.
This is something I need to work on. It's not one of my skills. I often will dismiss it or play it down. And I have had sort of some negative interactions where I make the other person feel almost like I don't know, like I almost come off as rude, maybe. Oh no. So this is something I could do better. What about you, Lindsay?
Yeah, I've I've worked on this consciously, right? I think a lot of us have kind of these scripts of we sh yeah, of we should be modest or we should say they're wrong and the compliment's not valid or a reason why we don't deserve the credit for something. But I've been kind of pushing back on that and just trying to get better at saying, Thank you.
Yes. Yes. Absolutely. This it's crazy. This doesn't come naturally to everyone. It doesn't come naturally to me. I think, like you said, I'm like trying to sound humble, but then I'll end up shooting myself in the foot by making it worse. I'm like, I should have just said thank you and then maybe a nice so I'm excited to dive into this today as um I l sort of studied up on this.
Why do many learners feel uncomfortable receiving compliments?
Uh there were several type things where I'm like, I could do better. Better at this myself, actually.
Yes. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Um, so often in North American culture, that's Canada, the US, um, a co maybe sometimes in Western Europe and the UK, for example, a compliment can be a friendly social gesture, right? It's not a deep judgment about you. It's just a gesture, kind of a conversation starter in a way.
Right, exactly. If someone says, I love your jacket, or great job on that presentation, or your English is amazing, a lot of the time the person is being warm and their goal is to open a door to a quick nice exchange and you could accidentally you know, shut down that exchange if you do what I accidentally do sometimes, which is to push it away, uh, to try and negate it. Yeah.
Right. I mean, because the irony here is that it might not be as much about you as you think it is. It might be that the person is trying to maybe the person is feeling awkward and they make a compliment to you because and I'm sure it could be genuine, sure, but they're looking for something to say. Right. Exactly.
Right. It's just
something to say. Something to
spark a conversation. Exactly. Yes. Yes.
Exactly. So when we push it away, which is what a lot of people do, Aubrey, as you said, um, it can feel aggressive, it can feel really off putting to the person that made that compliment.
Yes, exactly. And it shuts down the conversation when you want to open it up for a deeper exchange.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the invisible social layer behind compliments in English?
0:00–3:24
2
Why do many learners feel uncomfortable receiving compliments?
3:24–8:12
3
How can you stop dismissing compliments and respond naturally?
8:12–11:39
4
What does a compliment really aim to do in North‑American conversation?
11:39–16:53
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from All Ears English Podcast
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