Parenting with a mental illness: One of Lynne Malcolm's favourite programs
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What is the premise of the children’s book “My Happy Sad Mummy” and why was it created?
This is an ABC podcast.
Hi, it's All in the Mind on RN. I'm Lynn Malcolm with the next in our series featuring highlights from my time in the hot seat of All in the Mind. In this program from 2017, what happens in families when a parent becomes mentally ill?
Sometimes my mummy has very happy days. She laughs and laughs and talks to me all day long. She hardly stops talking and she wants to do everything except sleep. Sometimes my mummy has very sad days. She cries and cries and hardly talks to me at all. She's very quiet and she doesn't want to do anything besides stay in bed or sleep. When mummy keeps on laughing or crying and she can't stop, Daddy says it means she's sick. He says her brain isn't working properly and she can't look after herself or me. He says she needs help to get better.
That's from the children's picture book, My Happy Sad Mummy. It tells the story from a little girl's perspective about living with her mum who has bipolar disorder. The author, Michelle Vassaloux, explains why she wrote My Happy Sad Mummy.
It was almost a a matter of need for me. I was first diagnosed with bipolar in two thousand and seven. and I had a manic episode and ended up in hospital. And at the time my children were three and six years of age. and being a children's author, we had a lot of picture books in our house and we used to spend a lot of time reading those together. So when I got ill I asked the hospital staff, the nurses if there was a a picture book about bipolar specifically or mental illness in general. And um there's only a handful of books in the world and And most of those were outdated, extremely hard to source. So basically there wasn't anything that suited my needs. I wanted a book there that would explain what was happening to me.
So when I got out of hospital, I decided to to write one. And it's based on my own experiences. So it was very much for my own children as well as the readers that is now Feature.
One day mummy and I worked in the garden for ages. We pulled out weeds and planted flower seeds. Then I got tired and fell asleep under the orange tree. When Daddy came home and carried me to bed, mummy was still working in the garden. She wouldn't stop or come inside. Not even when Daddy said she needed to s one day I saw a stem poking out of the ground. I wanted Mummy to come and see, but she was too tired. So I picked the stem and brought it to her. She hardly looked at it. Sometimes she needs take medicine. Sometimes she needs to go to hospital. Then doctors and nurses look after her.
How did Michelle Vassaloux’s own bipolar diagnosis shape the content of her picture book?
And Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa look after me.
Michelle Vassaloux has been very unwell with bipolar disorder since her two children were quite young. Over the years she's spent a lot of time in hospital, which has made it very difficult for her to be the parent she'd like to be. But no matter how ill, she's only too aware of how her condition might be affecting her kids.
Well, in the early days there were only six and three and people would say that little ones like that can't pick up on your behaviour, but research has shown that even babies can recognise a mother's mental illness. And my little one expressed that in she used to get crayons and black crayons and do circles. She would just do circles with the crayons. And um she got quite a bit of counselling and they told me at the time that each time I came out of hospital she'd be a little bit distant and they said that's quite normal because she'd be afraid of getting close to me in case I had to go back to hospital again. So there's that readjustment period each time I came in and out of hospital. My son also
received counselling and that helped him a lot. He's been extremely resilient through the whole thing. He became very affectionate and would just say to me, especially as he's got older, it's okay, Mum, it's gonna be alright. Gives me hugs, kisses, helps out as much as he can. So he's nearly 16 now. So it's actually made him I think a lot more sensitive and resilient than he would have been otherwise. So that's one plus with the illness, I guess.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the premise of the children’s book “My Happy Sad Mummy” and why was it created?
0:02–3:16
2
How did Michelle Vassaloux’s own bipolar diagnosis shape the content of her picture book?
3:16–7:14
3
What early signs do children show when a parent is experiencing mental illness?
7:14–11:11
4
How do guilt and emotional overwhelm affect parents with bipolar disorder?
11:11–15:06
5
What role do children take on as carers, and how does this impact their development?
15:06–18:32
6
How does family support and extended networks help mitigate the challenges of parental mental illness?
18:32–21:33
7
What are the long‑term effects on the daughters who grew up caring for a mother with bipolar disorder?
21:33–24:56
8
How can professionals and schools use the book to start conversations about mental illness with children?
24:56–29:03