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Alpha Blokes Podcast

Ep. 542 - Fast And The Curious

25 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.098 - 9.439 Tom

Trendsetters! It's almost here. AlphaFest, May 30. Don't miss out. Get on to MoshTix and grab yourself a ticket before they sell out.

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9.58 - 25.372 Pooh

Patreon has been pumping. Moochinator3053 hasn't slept in three weeks. He hates sleep. But you know who we don't hate, Tom, and that's our sponsors. That's right, Pooh. Let's give them a pump up. Better Beer, the official beer of the Alpha Blokes podcast. Get around it.

0

25.572 - 30.641 Tom

CTC, keep your dome out of the sun with one of the many great country trucking caps.

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30.661 - 34.949 Pooh

SP Tools, they've got you covered, whether it's on the worksite or in the shed.

0

35.069 - 41.941 Tom

Papa Macro's healthy eating made easy. Port West workwear that is built to last, just like this community.

Chapter 2: What are the highlights of the Alphafest event?

42.061 - 48.17 Tom

And last but not least, Ned's. The only bookie that we have a punt with here at Alpha Blokes. Stay Ned-ly.

0

51.335 - 60.97 Unknown

I just want to say from the bottom of me heart, I'd like to take this chance to apologise to absolutely nobody. The double champ does what the fuck he wants.

0

74.973 - 76.815 Pooh

Safety first. Stay focused.

0

77.776 - 83.441 Tom

Keep pinging the cunt. Kung flung dung, the Alpha Blokes podcast. Welcome the fuck back.

0

84.662 - 100.558 Pooh

We're here to give the everyday battler a voice and delete that noise one laugh at a time. If you're having a beer, just have a better beer. It's easy. Do it. It's a jog in a can, winning a team, the athlete's choice, class in a glass poo if you want to have a stubby. They come in all shapes and sizes and flavours.

100.538 - 109.328 Tom

Don't ask me what Kung Flung Dung means. Nah. If I could guess, it's mandarin or something for welcome back to another episode.

109.508 - 114.334 Pooh

Yeah, I reckon that's exactly what it is. I'm sure someone will let us know. We'd have a couple of listeners in China.

114.354 - 114.514 Tom

Surely.

114.594 - 131.034 Pooh

Kung Flung Dung. Yeah. Sounds good anyway. But it's the last hurrah this week before we hit the Alphafest flats with this great community. Plenty to cover today, as per usual. Trendsetters, never a dull moment here at Alpha HQ. How are we feeling, boys? Good?

Chapter 3: What funny stories are shared about Curious?

513.397 - 530.458 Pooh

Okay. Let's just burn them all. Okay. So we'll give you a couple and, like, keep a couple of yard jeans, but we need to burn at least one set of skinny jeans that we hate. And then, curious, I think I was going to burn his, but if we burn them, he'll wear these ones working on cars, so he's got to keep them. Yeah, he's got to keep them. Well, we'll burn a pair of jeans.

0

530.478 - 532.421 Tom

I see you trimmed your beard, Queefly. Yeah.

0

532.581 - 533.302 Pooh

Looking nice, mate.

0

533.802 - 539.951 Tom

Fuck, that was. Don't worry, I've still got the fucking, there's still plenty of hair there for me to cut off. Yeah, yeah. You'll fucking.

0

539.991 - 541.032 Curious George

That was a mission, bro.

541.252 - 548.282 Tom

Was it? She was thick. Thick and red. That was like the women back in the 80s, in the early 90s even.

548.943 - 550.164 Curious George

Thick and red. Hard to shave.

550.264 - 554.23 Tom

Yeah, you had to get the old butt, the hedge trimmer.

555.071 - 555.171

Yeah.

Chapter 4: How do the hosts react to dog antics?

1839.362 - 1846.156 Pooh

Unreal. You're just riding around on a horse shooting shit. I got into it a bit too much. Did you? Yeah. Big red dead guy.

0

1846.758 - 1855.086 Tom

Yeah, he is. At least he's not playing Dungeons and Dragons anymore. That's right, mate. Anymore. Anymore. Never play one in my life. Don't lie.

0

1856.956 - 1878.266 Pooh

No, pretty chill, boys. Pretty chill. Nice. We had Curious in here with us, actually. Saddy had a hosted pot with the Reggies. Oh, yeah. We tipped one fucking really good winner, but ended up going down swinging, which is fine. It was a fun day on the punt. Yeah. And then, yeah, chucked the fire on again, man. It's fucking great. I'm really loving it at the moment. Kids love it too, man.

0

1878.326 - 1885.197 Pooh

I got the mowing done. It's slowing down, which is great. Yeah, I haven't mowed for a bit. Yeah, it's prime. It's just those stringy fucks.

0

1885.217 - 1886.86 Tom

Yeah, just make you look untidy.

1886.88 - 1891.89 Pooh

I could mow you with a set of scissors quicker than it takes, but you're not going to. You've got to mow, you know.

1892.27 - 1901.948 Tom

But, yeah, more fires, less mowing. I fixed me mower chair. Did you? Had me seat on me mower, bit of silicon. Yeah. Sigaflex, you know, the black stuff.

1901.928 - 1902.288 Pooh

Yep.

1902.909 - 1921.894 Tom

Nailed it. Yeah, fixed it up good. Good shit, mate. Well, I don't know if I have. Because I re-glued her and jammed me swag and a few pigging collars and everything I could between the steering wheel and the seat to hold it back. I haven't taken it off yet, but it looks like it worked. Yeah, nice, mate. Good shit.

Chapter 5: What are the highlights from Pep and Pooh's Dump Finds?

3073.647 - 3092.974 Pooh

Just to be sure. Just because I clean mine thoroughly with the doot gun doesn't mean I have a pussy. Yeah, yeah. It's still a freckle. Yeah, that's right. It's an arsehole. Sweet. Just checking. That's what it is. Right-o. Hey, we missed this segment last week. Pep and Pooh's dump find. Yeah. I thought there was something missing in me life, and I thought, fucking what is it?

0

3093.114 - 3097.981 Pooh

I went, oh, that's it. I haven't seen what Pep's found at the dump. What's he got for us this week?

0

3098.021 - 3105.353 Tom

Quiet week, but still some great finds, nevertheless. Yeah, yeah. Hello. What do you got? Cement saw?

0

3106.074 - 3108.479 Pooh

Oh, fuck, yeah. It looks a bit rough around the edges.

0

3108.499 - 3111.546 Tom

Yeah, but look, it might be a fixer-upper. And a filter.

3111.566 - 3123.57 Pooh

And an air filter for a dozer by the looks of it or a grater or something, tractor. Now, he normally says, yeah, working or not. I think we can assume that one needs a bit of work. Needs some work, yeah. But look. It's a start.

3123.65 - 3124.753 Tom

It's a great project.

3125.374 - 3125.875 Pooh

Yeah.

3126.462 - 3131.428 Tom

Now, I'm not fucking real happy about that one. I'm not real happy about that one at all.

Chapter 6: What cooking experiences are shared in this episode?

3163.966 - 3168.676 Pooh

Who does that, though? Like, I mean, I wouldn't need that much sticky tape, but I wouldn't just throw it out.

0

3168.737 - 3183.613 Tom

No, I know, but I feel like that box was shut. I feel like it would be like someone like me or you, hey, let's just go and all these fucking shit can get thrown out. Yeah. And then someone picks it up, doesn't check. I think it's an easy mistake to make.

0

3183.693 - 3185.735 Pooh

It's a good find, though. It's in the lead so far.

0

Chapter 7: What strange news is discussed towards the end?

3186.156 - 3199.549 Pooh

I think, yeah, well. Bronco's had a spew on it, man. Yeah, I'm not taking the Bronco. Well, actually. Oh, we got a fucking full bear. And a full northern. Full bear.

0

Chapter 8: How is the Alpha Fest event detailed?

3199.569 - 3202.607 Pooh

Yeah. Yeah, right. I wouldn't want to drink that.

0

3202.908 - 3204.951 Tom

Nah, but, I mean, you could put it in the fridge.

0

3204.971 - 3212.505 Pooh

I'm surprised. How the fuck did it make it to the dump via the fucking bin and not break? Being a glass bottle is tough as fair and straight.

0

3212.525 - 3215.43 Tom

And being scratched around with pep on the digger.

0

3216.332 - 3216.392

Mm.

3217.047 - 3221.958 Tom

I'm sticking with it. I'm getting that Broncos hat out of there. Oh, yeah? Yeah. So you're voting for the hat?

3222.078 - 3225.606 Pooh

That's me. If it didn't have spew and shit all over it, I'd go with that.

3225.626 - 3227.029 Tom

Well, you'd go with Broncos hat?

3227.349 - 3240.764 Pooh

No. No. No. But, I mean, it's got spew on it, man. I'm not. You can wash that off. We did it with Curious' hat the other day. Yeah, but that was his hat. Nah. I'm going with sticky tape. Queefly?

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